NFC Playoff Picture, Yep Who Cares

Yooooo to all of our readers (especially Mikey D). Tonight I want to talk about the NFC playoff picture, ok? So what really has me excited is this Sunday nights game between the Cowboys and the Giants. I am pulling for the g-men and betting that they will win. Romo is a little banged up and I would trust Eli in a big game situation over Tony. Anyway, that should be the game of the week and will hopefully send the giants on a nice playoff run. So here is the seeding:




1). Packers
2). 49ers
3). Saints
4). Giants
5). Lions
6). Falcons








Here's how I see it playing out. Saints, at home, beat the falcons who aren't all that great. Drew Brees has a big game and they look like they could beat the packers. The Lions and Giants go at it in a great game with the g-men barely slipping by the Stafford-Megatron connection. Eli picks apart the Lions secondary in the 4th quarter and the Giants win 30-28.

Packers and the Giants once again square off and the giants, who play to the level of their competitor, stay with them until the end once again and the packers win 38-31.

The Saints and 49ers do the dance and since the 49ers are so terribly overrated, they lose to Brees' cannon and we have a packers-saints NFC bout.

This is really tough to call, because one of these teams is winning the superbowl. I almost think Brees can out-play Rodgers, but not on the road in the cold. The packers win and go back to the Superbowl, which they again win and we're all pissed off.

Better Situation: The giants steam right through everybody, meet the Jets in the superbowl, and I go to the parade either way. Go Jets. I'm out. PACE!

-J.G

Wandering Mind and the 2011 AFC Playoff Picture

I don't know what to write about right now so I'm going to start babbling and discover what I like to talk about as I'm typing. My hands are a little tired and prune-y however from sitting in a hot tub (great story). Anyway. So first may I say that the Jets really made me sad this year. Lost to some bum teams (Eagles, Raiders, Broncos) and are going to miss the playoffs this year. They are going to lose to the dolphins this week and the bengals are going to get the playoff birth. The Bengals will lose to the ravens, but the chargers will beat the raiders and the broncos will lose to the chiefs. The broncos have the edge on oak-town and the titans won't get in because if I remember correctly the bengals beat the titans in the regular season; therefore they would hold the tie breaker.So here's the AFC Playoff picture:



1) Patriots
2) Ravens
3) Texans
4) Broncos
5) Steelers
6) Bengals




Here's where it gets interesting. The Pats and Ravens enjoy their bye weeks respectively and the Texans battle the Bengals, the Broncos welcome the Steelers. The Broncos beat the banged up big ben at home because the steelers have to travel to mile-high. Broncos shock only to be destroyed the very next game by the Pats. The Texans sneak by the bengals with TJ Yates having a very average game and go on to lose to the ravens. This sucks. The pats and ravens play for a superbowl shot and the Pats head into the superbowl against _____.
This could all change with a NY Jets playoff berth. You see, the Jets would play the texans, and beat them, because the Jets are a different team in the playoffs and in my opinion match up well with the Texans. This is one of the few times having a coach like Rex Ryan pays off; he motivates them and they play hard for him when they really need to. The Jets would then play the ravens. Yes, the ravens beat them in the regular season, but thats because their defense and the Jets lack of offense allowed them too. Flacco was awful, absolutely terrible. I could see the Jets beating the Ravens for the first time in franchise history (because of a good game from Sanchez) and then playing against the Pats, who they could and would beat, and they could make it to the superbowl. It could happen, it just won't.
Another scenario would be the Steelers and Ravens switching seeds. In this case, the ravens lose to the broncos, the Steelers get the bye, then take down the texans, and then beat the pats again. Boom- superbowl repeat. I would rather them in then the Pats or Ravens though, so this scenario isn't too bad. Anyway you slice it, an NFC team is taking home the trophy this year.

I will tackle the NFC playoffs before sunday. I am tired of typing. PACE!

Peter Pan: Exploration in the Realm of Imagination

Peter Pan:

Exploration in the Realm of Imagination 

Walt Disney’s production of Peter Pan is one of the most beloved of Disney’s many childhood classics, for its celebration of youth as a temporary time that must not be rushed but on the contrary embraced for its innocence and exploration in the realm of imagination.  The film portrays a young girl, Wendy, as she is confronted by her unimaginative father’s want to end her stay in the nursery with her younger brothers.  In requesting Wendy leave the nursery, Mr. Darling (Wendy’s father) is asking her to drop her girlish dreams especially that of Peter Pan who serves as the last dream between childhood and adulthood and assume her responsibilities as a young woman.  Wendy’s adventure with Peter Pan through Neverland serves as an aid to help Wendy grow within herself accepting her future, but still maintaining an imagination.   

The film offers Wendy a last hurrah of sorts, when Peter and Tinkerbell (a fairy) arrive and magically fly Wendy and her younger brothers away to Neverland where kids never have to grow up.  The famous scene presents the viewer with a different aspect of flight, they just think of a happy thought, any happy little thought and with little bit of pixie dust they can fly.  As they sing, “think of the happiest things, it’s the same as of having wings,” the characters give the children the idea that they can leave their fears behind if they utilize their imagination.  Each of the children’s thoughts that they use to fly become a reality once they get to Neverland:  Pirates, Indians, and a mermaid lagoon all become keys to the plot.  The flying scene in Peter Pan is not only a well known song, it is also a comforting concept for children to be able to use their imagination to create.     

Once Wendy and the boys begin to interact with the other characters in Neverland especially the evil Captain Hook, Wendy longs again for the comfort and safety of normal life, a theme also found in Disney’s Alice in Wonderland.  Wendy’s yearning for home coincides with the lack of attention she receives from Peter once princess Tiger Lily enters the story.  A theme of female jealousy is present within the film, as Wendy, the mermaids, and Tinkerbell all fight for Peter’s affection.  First appearing when Tink flies down ahead of the other to convince the Lost Boys to shoot down Wendy.  Peter finds out that Tink is to blame for Wendy’s near tragic fall and banishes Tinkerbell from Neverland forever.  Tink utterly consumed with jealousy, after being exiled from Neverland by Peter for attempting to hurt Wendy, actually confides in Captain Hook the whereabouts of Peter’s hideout resulting in the capture of the Lost Boys and the Darling children and the near death of Peter.  After successfully humiliating Captain Hook, saving his friends, and with a little help from Tinkerbell Peter flies Captain Hook’s pirate ship back to London.         

Mr. and Mrs. Darling return home from their party, to find all of the children asleep.  They come across Wendy asleep in front of the open nursery window, out of which they see the flying pirate ship that the father recognizes from his own childhood.  This rediscovery of his childhood dreams softens his mindset, changing his decision about letting Wendy stay in the nursery.  Mr. Darling’s soft spot for imagination at the end is a theme one may see present in many of Walt Disney animated classics.  Peter Pan maintains the belief of the innocence in childhood and the freedom found within ones imagination; along with enforcing the idea that one can escape the provincial life and nominates adventure, whether real or imaginary, as a positive experience that leads to personal growth.  Wendy leaves to Neverland in fear of losing her childhood and after her adventure with Peter she returns confident in her future, knowing that if she finds the need to she can always return to Neverland in her imagination.  This is an idea reinforced by the Mr. and Mrs. Darling at the end of the film remembering their childhood and  entranced with the magic they too once experienced. 

The story of Peter Pan has consistently been an uplifting one throughout my childhood and remains so in my time in early adulthood.  The notion of embracing one’s childhood and thinking happy thoughts in the hopes of eventually flying provides comfort in times of despair.  Thinking of happy thoughts may not actually result in flight, but the action does however lighten one’s spirit ensuring an emotional high rivaled by nothing I have ever experienced.  As some say a smile is contagious, and Disney movies provide the happiness to this smiling epidemic.  In my youth I used Disney movies as a crutch when I was hobbled by times of hardship or sickness.  Countless sick days were spent home from school, watching Peter Pan, and sipping soup; even after knowing the outcome and memorizing all of the song lyrics the happiness that the film projects served its uplifting purpose.  It consistently brought a smile to my face and the familiar warm feeling associated with good memories.  Though critics may question the social motives behind Disney movies, there is a consistency within the music and the happy endings that will bring a smile to the faces of the listeners each time without fail.  Peter Pan, being amongst the first movies I personally owned as a child, I cherished it; I brought the VHS tape with me to the park and when I visited family.  The characters in the story became friends that I could call upon in a time of need or when I desired inspiration for my next adventure or project.  My friends and I reenacted scenes from the movie, never afraid that playing follow the leader may result in an actual Indian ambush. 

One moral that can be taken away from Peter Pan and most other Disney animated classics is that everyone must take their own journey to iron out any flaws or errors associated with adolescence and embrace personal growth to eventually find happiness.  Most importantly though is that the journey does not have to be held in some exotic landscape it can happen in your room just using your imagination. Walt Disney’s Peter Pan has lasted as long as it has because the themes and ideas it presents to children resonate in a child’s mind.  From imaginary friends to adventures in a sandbox, a child’s imagination is a plant in need of cultivation to produce its best product.  Disney movies, such as Peter Pan, tap into the power of imagination, sparking the flame of creation.

Have a CRABtastic day,   

-DiCrabs Out                               

CRABS at Hogwarts

The rest of the CRABS and I need to clarify a couple things about the monumental success of this Harry Potter guy.  I understand he’s “the boy who lived” and “the chosen one,” “the vanquisher of the Dark Lord” blah blah; well what about the CRABs?  We were there too!  J.K. Rowling in all her glory and genius forgot the best part of Hogwarts during this time…the CRABS.  Honestly, not only did we assisted Harry in many of his dangerous adventures, but also had a lot to do with keeping the students together during Mr. Potter’s absence and in the wake of Dumbledore’s death.  The reason why were so largely influential in the school is because we bridged the gaps between the different houses.  As we all got sorted into different houses and befriended one another in a few back to back detention sessions with Snape.  Professor Snape did not respect the fact that each of happened to be the funniest kids in his Potions class and were stealing his thunder. Let me point out that we were all funny for different reasons, too CRABS J.G. and myself (DiCrabrio) were know for our witty banter and countless spot on impressions of the most famous witches and wizards of the day.  Meanwhile Crab Pitt led the way in his classes with sarcasm laced with uncontrollable rage and animated facial expressions and Len was more laughed at then laughed with and Snape really just hated his guts right off the bat. 

Back to the point, the rest of the CRABS and myself were all sorted into different houses, so each of us had something different to bring to the table and we had a strong following around the school, but also a lot of enemies who didn’t believe in intermingling betwixt the different houses. J.G., as you would likely imagine, was told by the sorting hat that he would do best in SLYTHERIN and that he was destined for great things.  For me, the patchy hat informed that my chivalric nature and bravery in heart would lead me to success in GRYFFINDOR.  The sorting hat was barely placed on Crab Pitt’s head before it shouted RAVENCLAW.  His focus on learning and his quick witted mind were unmatched by none other than Hermione Granger in our year. However the sorting hat keyed in on his wisdom when placing him in RAVENCLAW and I don’t think any would disagree.  Last but most certainly least Len, was told by the sorting hat that HUFFLEPUFF would best suit his just and loyal ways. In other words Len isn’t the brightest crayon in the magical box, if ya catch my drift.   

As this was just an introduction to the CRABS in their wizarding youth, there will be many posts to follow this one that will juxtapose the tales of Harry Potter.  Our narration will provide the readers of the wondrous series with another take on the situations which took place in Hogwarts and a closer look at the CRABS in their wizarding youth, mere rooks compared to the masters you all now know and love.  The short stories will all link together and will be able to be found on CRAB BLOG and on the HOGWARTS page once it is developed.  The first featured short tale will be entitled "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's CRABS." 

Keep it Real CRABBY Lovers 2nd CRAB to the right and on till morning.

-DiCrabs Out.   

New Bane TDKR Poster

That is all, to all a good night.
PACE! -J.G

Never Been More Mad...

This is disgusting. I have never been more angry in my life. A fond childhood memory of mine is watching the Stooges with my Dad and brothers. This may kill it. Don't see this movie. Goodland Snooki and the Situation are in it. Nothing else to say. If you watch the trailer and then take your own life I am not responsible for it. The title^ is a link to the imdb.com page. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
PACE!
-J.G

False Prophet?

Rumors are swirling about a "reformed revivalist" that is sweeping across the midwest claiming to have received divine knowledge. Our very own analyst, Ralph Herms, reports that the "prophet", hence forth known as "Kenny G", has begun to influence many men and children alike to follow him in the greater Chicago area. Though some are calling it a "movement", many specialists are relating this Cult to the Cult of Cory that encompassed the entire globe just 2 years ago. Police are on standby and tensions are high in the windy city with fears of riots breaking out. Mayor Jack Chan called in helicopters to provide surveillance to the innocent towns people. Thus far the death count is 2 citizens, pictured here.

Here is just a brief summary of Kenny G's teachings through his own words:

"I have the light, and it comes from ma muzik"

"I was raised Catholic, but my father's people were Methodist, so we went to both churches"

"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."

"Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height"

The warrant is out for Kenny G's arrest, but his strongest supporters are fighting off police and taking the fall for Kenny G, resulting in a metropolitan bloodbath. More on this as it happens.

-J.G.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

Good Goldblum!
The theater release date of Tim and Eric's billion dollar movie has been announced as March 2, 2012. This is great job! news. We knew it was going to be sometime in 2012 but March is way sooner than I expected considering all news on this movie has been on the down-low. I have heard literally nothing about it apart from my own research. No trailer, few teasers, but a great cast list on imdb.com.Goldblum will be in it, John C. Reilly, Will Ferrell, Will Forte, and Zach Galifianakis. I know I'm pumped to be looking for my chippy as the movie goes along. Hopefully Cory won't come in and ruin the film for everybody, though this is very plausible. RIP Cory we hate you go die in a hole. Btw this movie was more expensive than Avatar.

New James Bond Movie: Skyfall

Sharing is caring. So I am the only CRAB that cares about the fans obviously because I am the only one that posts. -_- Anyway, so there is a new James Bond movie coming out with Daniel Craig reprising his inferior to Pierce Brosnan James Bond role. He is a great Bond don't get me wrong, but come'on; its Pierce Brosnan. This guy has kissed every woman's mouth ever. Moving on... Javier Bardem will be the bad guy which is absolutely great news. Ralph Fiennes is also in it (voldemort) so I wouldn't be surprised if we saw some spells. I don't feel like typing. Look it up on IMDB.com. Comes out next November. Should be a nice flick. PACE

New Shot of Bane

Here, ladies and Crabs, is a good shot of Tom Hardy's Bane in the Dark Knight Rises. I'm still unsure how I feel about it, looks pretty OK. Oh well, make your own calls. I don't think it will touch either of the first two; I just remember how excited I was at the end of the first one when commish said "he calls himself the Joker". Good land those were great times. Can't believe the Giants lost to the Eagles tonight...dang that sucks. PACE
J.G

Rumored: Jurassic Park IV

Obviously, anyone who even has half the IQ of a Boston fan likes the Jurassic Park franchise. Sure, the third one was kinda lame (no Goldblum? Fail.) and the second one wasn't as good as the first, but I think that was expected. With the new technology these days, a fourth installment could be visually amazing and a great film experience. Rumored on IMDB.com are Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum reprising their roles as Doctors Grant and Malcolm. In my opinion, bringing these iconic characters back is a must. Throw in a half decent story line, new dinosaurs (including water creatures, please), and people getting eaten and you have a huge blockbuster hit. I know this movie has been rumored on and off for years, but apparently it is actually being worked on now. Spielberg announced at the 2011 comic con that they plan on releasing the film in the next 2-3 years. Also, I heard that the beautiful Keira Knightley was rumored to have a role. I don't know why they wouldn't make at least one more of these movies. Now would be a great time for a come back; and there are so many different directions you could take a film concerning dinosaurs. Cool Beans? Head over to IMDB.com for more information even though there isn't much.

The Book Of CRAB

To whom it may concern,
On the latest CRAB journey, Crab Pitt, Len Crabitz, Leonardo DiCrabrio, and Joseph Gordon Crabitt sailed across the forsaken seas to a forbidden land of death and plunder. Whilst slaying countless souls, Pitt, formerly the Crabtain, lay his eyes on the very bindings of CRAB history. What we set out for, we found. And we read. And we wrote. And now, we share with the world:

the ancient CRAB writings. This is not for the faint hearted. Many men had to die for this collection of "guidelines" and accounts to be brought forth to your eyes. Before we present to you the wonders in the work, we must finish copying over the original transcripts. We want to make sure every story, historical event, rule, period, comma, and drawing is accounted for and transported properly. As soon as we can reveal the information we will. Have a Crabby night, afternoon, and morning. PACE!
-J.G

Schaub Down; Favre In?

So as you all have probably heard, Houston Texans QB Matt Schaub is out indefinitely with a foot injury of some sort. This leaves the AFC favorites (in some eyes) in a bit of a jiffy. Matt Leinart will be replacing him and what we've seen of him so far hasn't been too promising. I find it interesting that he got the boot in Arizona and didn't play a game for Houston last season (is this historically accurate?) and yet they are relying on him to get the job done. Profootball talk had a post today about the Texans possibly bringing in all-time great Brett Favre. Yes, I know I talk about Favre a lot on the blog but it is not enough. And this time I am dead serious; Favre to Houston could be a possibility. Bring Favre in with Andre Johnson, Foster and Tate with a revamped Wade Phillip defense and you might just get to the superbowl (and lose to the packers). I think it would be a brilliant move. Who could stop them in the AFC? Not the pats or ravens...maybe the steelers but I doubt it. The Jets won't make playoffs (at least I don't think so...but I am overly critical because I analyze every game), and I don't see the Bengals stopping them or the Titans if they come close. Raiders and Chargers are both hit-or-miss teams. I don't know, I just think they'd go to the house. The world would hate Favre more for coming back but don't count the idea out, the man is still a player and would beat out more than half the QB's for a starting job. Best Ever.
BTW- The movie "The Punisher" with Thomas Jane and Travolta is horrible. Couldn't watch more than 40 mins.
PACE to my Crab-peeps

What Happens if Rodgers Gets Hurt?

With the NFL's most elite team ravishing and astonishing every week, its tough to say what would happen with their MVP quarterback going down with an injury. I'm sure they'd still make playoffs considering they are 8-0 and therefore undefeated in the division and conference. Anyway, do you think they would sign somebody else or hope that Flynn could lead them to a somewhat decent playoff run? Would they give up on the season or sign Brett Favre (that is what every team should try to do). I just would be really interested to see what would happen to this team. They are the sure choice in the NFC, and pretty much the sure choice to win it all this year. Who in the shaky AFC could take them down? I think the Jets Pass D could slow that offense down; but the Jets offense couldn't win it. I don't think the ravens are any good; they lost to the Jaguars, struggled against the cardinals, and only beat the Jets with takeaways (no offensive accomplishment), lost to the titans, and beat St.Louis(goodone...). This ravens team can only beat the steelers because it is a heated division rivalry. The panthers can beat the saints, the vikings could beat the packers. It really doesn't mean much. So I just wanted to do a quick post and influence teams to resign Favre because he's the greatest thing to happen to football. Ever. PACE.

The Best Soda's

Today we're talking soda's, and boy is it important to me. I have always been an avid 'pop' drinker since I was a wee lad. I can remember my mother bringing home a two-liter of mountain dew once a week as well as the knock off band 12 packs of Coke and orange soda. Being the soda connoisseur that I am, I have tasted nearly all the flavors roundabout the world. Today I will rank the top 5 soda's, and if you disagree with them then you have horrible taste. Just Kidding.

5). Orange Soda (pick your brand)
This is an old stand-by for the CRAB family. I feel like it is almost a promise that one of us will drink and orange soda with our meal, usually Len or DiCrabs. There really isn't any way to go wrong with orange soda, I'd have it with breakfast.

4).Mt. Dew
This originally would have made number one on my list. Me and Len grew up chugging the stuff like a biker chugs water or Goldblum pounds absolute on ice. Since then, however, it has fallen, but it has fallen to itself in two ways.

3).Vanilla Coke
I love coke. That's why I love the movie American Gangster.
But I also love Coke products. I will take nestea over brisk, mello yello over dew, (spoiler alert), Barq's over any other root beer, and of course, Coca-Cola over Pepsi. The addition of vanilla into this drink = great success. Hard to argue that one.

2). Mello Yello
I tell everybody that this is my favorite soda, only because I oft forget about my number one choice and its rarity. But Mello has such a great, smooth taste when its cold and your thirsty. Would I drink it warm? Nah. The only soda I have ever chugged warm was orange soda, and I didn't enjoy it all that much. This is the soda I buy the most and am highly considering getting tattooed on my face.

1). Mt. Dew: Baja Blast
This is the best soda out there. Too bad you can only get it at Taco Bell, and I am not at Taco Bell enough. Absence makes the heart grow fonder that is for sure, but even if these were sold in 12 packs my heart would still beat for the liquid gold. If you haven't tried the blue-green goodness, bring yourself out for mexican food and order a large soda. And refill it multiple times before you leave. They don't even put this ish in a can.

Honorable Mentions: Mt. Dew White out and Grape Soda. Also, Stewart's Root Beer because it is in a bottle

Reservoir Dogs Review

Hey CRAB people,
Just saw Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs for the first time the other night, and saw it on bluray. Pretty cool, not gonna lie. The bluray part I mean. Not so much the movie.

Tarantino's style is so unique and I don't know if I'll ever be a fan of it. It's just weird; like the weird where I sit there and just think "this guy tried way too hard to be unique." You can be unique without being weird, hence Inception, Boondock Saints, ect. Anyway, I dislike how the plot works. I dislike the long and boring beginning scene and I dislike the way the whole movie moves in general. The acting was pretty good, no complaints there. I just really couldn't get into this movie. Not the greatest character development and not really any likable characters. The idea for the movie was very cool, I just don't like how we're thrown into the middle of it with little clue to whats going on. It would be a lot more enjoyable in my opinion, if instead of flashbacks to tell the stories, they just told the story. I wish we saw the cops, the robbery, ya know, the important stuff. And I understand that Tarantino wanted to do the movie this way and good for him for doing it, it just wasn't my style. Fact- this is not a bad movie. I am just stating that I did not like it. I feel like it could have been a lot better and for all the hype it gets I was very disappointed. But hey, it happens. And hey, my 11th grade teacher ruined fight club for me. Great job! Anyway, see the movie if you havent, then see if you agree with me. Peace out Crabby peeps its been way too long a day.

ACTING:7
CAMERA WORK: 6.5
PLOT:6
REPLAY VALUE: Moderately low
OVERALL(Out of 10, not an average): 5

If you're wondering why I gave it such a low score, its because I couldn't think of other categories to rate; but I'm sure they would be lower than 5's because I didn't enjoy the movie much.

Johnny Depp a Boss?

Answer: Yes.

Happy a Crabtastic Evening People,

DiCrabs Out

I Spy a Goldblum

What makes a great Goldblum? Is it love, hate, envy, rage, brilliance, or the ability to be fly?(note what I did there, write it down) Jeff Goldblum is more than an icon, he's a creation of God who clearly had a great deal of time spent on him. A friend of mine, DiCrabrio, was unfortunately involved in a car accident recently, which totaled his 98 prizm (aka 2011 Dodge Challenger). On the back of this car was tattooed not one, but 2 Goldblum's. How can one car handle two Goldblums? It is a science and an art and requires help from the divine.
Picture the following things:
Goldblum replacing Leo in Inception.
Goldblum replacing Aragorn in Lord of the Rings.
Goldblum replacing your dad.

I honestly, on a serious note, don't understand why he isn't in more movies. Same goes with Christopher Walken.
Anyway, on Top gear a little while back Dr. Ian Malcom stayed in third gear the whole time(like a boss) and still avoided getting last place.



This guy is not human. He can also play every instrument and has won the heart of 2/3 of women in Europe/Asia. My point is this, when I direct my first movie, Goldblum will be in it, and will be an android.
People get with it, this guy is better than your favorite actor.

Why The Eagles Will Make Playoffs

This is the hardest post for me to write. If you're an eagles fan, I hate you.

So I hate the Eagles. Who doesn't. Worst fans in all of sports. I've always disliked them but my hatred has been blown out of proportion these last few years by the countless fools that call themselves eagles 'fans'. Anyway, here's why the Eagles will make the playoffs and possibly win the division.

The redskins benched Rex Grossman, leaving them with a newb of a QB that won't win you a single game. At least Grossman had motivation and wanted to win, Beck can't put points on the board. They are awful and will continue to lose. The Eagles, skins, and cowboys will all be 3-4 after this game.

The Cowboys should be the second or third best team in the NFC, but they need Romo to not be so hit or miss. Its ridiculous to think that they are 3-3 when they could be 5-1 easy. Blew victories against the Jets (I thank you), the Pats (overrated btw), and of course the Lions. Btw the cowboys are getting shut-out 24-0 right now in the game, so there is a divisional loss. They will also continue to collapse in a string of close games.

The Giants are looking okay this year, but lost to the Seahawks (gag) and almost to the Dolphins. Not to mention their schedule for the rest of the year is frickin impossible. They may beat the Eagles once and win the division but I honestly see it being close to a three way tie with the Eagles winning, Giants taking second, and cowboys third.

The Eagles are looking great in this game, and the offense has always been explosive. I hate it. McCoy destroyed my chances of staying alive in my pay league this year. Hate him. I can't see any of the teams in that division trumping the Philly scum because all the teams in that division would struggle against the Seahawks. Eli is a beast but he isn't beating the pats and niners on the road and the eagles will prob beat them at home. They also wont be beating the saints or the packers. Sorry G-men, you're done for.

Sooooo I'm sick to my stomach and I hope the Eagles never win a game in the rest of their franchise history. I hope that all of the Philly fans reading this will realize how terrible their fanbase is. I am not a hater (well kinda), the Philly fan base turned me against them. It was not my own doing, but theirs. Take pride in it philly and have pride in your zero superbowls.

BTW Len- You are going to owe me a 12 pack of mello yello

Forget Halloween have a Crabby Christmas!

These are the faces behind the magic.  We apologize for the long absence, but we will be slowly transitioning back to our funny/mad blogging ways.

Love all of you, have a Crabby Night

DiCrabs out

Dragonball Z: Ultimate Tenkaichi Review

Worst Game Ever?

Not gonna lie, I'm a fan of the Dragonball Z franchise. Love the diverse characters, the form changes, the quick fighting, and of course the fact that it take like 900 episodes to tell a story that could be told in less than half. Anyway, DBZ games are redone every single year in attempts to please all of the fans (which will never happen, btw) and it still hasn't worked. There was the budokai series for ps2, then the tenkaichi series for ps2 and eventually wii, then back to budokai style gameplay for ps3/360 and then back to tenkaichi for ps3/360. Now they have tried to bring the two together and what happens is a ridiculous party-foul. Now if you're reading this and saying, "yea, they should have stuck to the original budokai mechanics" then you should fall on a chainsaw. Those games were so limited and lame, and the story mode for the second game was utterly retarded. There are tons of you who stick by budokai 3 as being the best and for that I shake my head because you suck. Budokai 3 sucks. I hated it more than I hated 2 I think, because at least 2 gave me laughs. Dragon rush? seriously? Sucks. Now the tenkaichi's are flawless in game mechanics as far as I'm concerned. The newer ones for ps3 were a little choppy but in all much more fun than any of the budokai/burst limit games. Soooo you have raging blast 2, decent game, one of my favorite DBZ games, and to succeed it you choose 'Ultimate Tenkaichi'. Goodone. Great Graphics I'll give you that, but terrible gameplay. Its like they tried to make it exactly like the show; there is no freedom to the fight. You can't just get up and fly whenever you want; you can't just decide to do a kamehameha whenever you're fully charged, and I'm yet to do an ultimate attack. Its basically whoever gets 'spirit high' first wins. Spirit high is this terrible system that determines when you can use energy attacks. Btw, you have to be 2839 feet away from your opponent to do an energy attack. If your in melee mode then you have to punch each other, but thats odd because they put about 15 feet between the two of you so there isn't anyway you can hit each other. I'm so mad about this...i dropped 60 on this game (btw I listed it on ebay after playing it for about an hour, so go buy it!)
Ok, so the part I was looking forward to most, the character create mode. FAIL. You have about 3 hair styles to choose from, 4 outfits, and a wide range of colors. Oh and you can have a scouter if you really want one -_-. Cool guy right? >>
I heard that you can turn your character super saiyan but that you have to go through the repetitive hero mode to do so, through all the horrible boss battles and bad cut scenes. I don't know how this game was screwed up so much, and how the fools at Ign.com could blow a review so bad.

Note- All characters play the same.

OFFICIAL REVIEW:
GRAPHICS:9
GAMEPLAY:3.5
CREATE MODE:5
REPLAY VALUE:4
PARTY GAME VALUE:2
OVERALL(Not average):4

Do not buy this game unless you're buying it from me.
And yes I realize it isn't the worst game over and I'm exaggerating, stop freaking out and go play wizards of warcraft

Good Pics

Hey Crab People,
Sorry been super busy, just wanted to share these pics right quick. enjoy. True fanhood

4 ints Vick? come on

NBC's Community is Fantasic

There are few shows that can make me laugh like NBC's "Community" can. Even the all-time list of funnier shows is short. Of course you have the classic Seinfeld (the greatest imo), King of Queens, Frasier, and the Office. Community is funny in its own way however. All of the previous shows I mentioned are good humor for everyone, but community takes a whole different kind of person to like it. Thats one thing I love about it; its unique in goofy humor. Seinfeld is funny to anybody with a sense of humor, as is Frasier, and most likely King of Queens. Now the office is similar to community in "stupid" humor, but focuses almost all jokes at Michael Scott or Dwight, which is great. All of the characters can be funny at times, but most of the time its just the two of them being idiots, with quick "talking heads" interrupting to add an extra dash for minor characters .

Chevy Chase, Ken Jeong, that guy from "the Soup", as well as many other strong actors are consistent in making this show brilliant. Community is a community (ha) of funny characters(as is the office), but its all stupid humor. I'm guessing the audience for community is people ages 15-30 on average; I doubt the older generations would find Troy's childish stupidity funny. Its not Kramer funny, or Niles funny, or even Michael Scott funny. Its an unusual funny, and thats why I think the show does well. It probably doesn't have half the fans the office does; but the fans of Community are committed fans because its the only place they can get that spritz of retarded funny. Capish? Just wanted a reason to talk about the show, I have many friends that are big time fans of the show and won't miss an episode, and I can see why.
If-so-fact-o, catch an episode if you can. I bet you'll love it. The characters mesh so well. "Pop-Pop!"
4.4/5 Stars

I'll CRAB ya on the flip side, PACE
J.G. Crabitt

Back to School and Back to Goldblum

First things first I would like to apologize to any CRAB BLOG fans out there for my long absence.  The absence was much too long in my opinion, and I plan on not letting it happen again.  As I have just begun work on a few different articles, here is an old standby for you to take pleasure in as you wait for a more polished piece.
In this video, Jeff Goldblum is interviewed by Martin Short's obnoxious talk show character Jiminy Glick.  Goldblum is as crafty, witty, intelligent, and devilishly handsome as usual.  The man can literally do no wrong; he could rape and pillage an entire town only to be met by an onslaught of adoring fans. For those who are unaware, Jeff Goldblum was the 1st of a select few individuals we here at CRAB Blog like to call honorary CRABs.  In honor of this achievement, I decided to get 2 vinyl  stickers of his face at different points in his career placed on the back my car.  Now every trunk visit is a Goldenblumed one$$$. I hope you enjoy this display of Goldblumage.

Have a Crabby Day everybody, I missed ya.
-DiCrabrio  

Johnny Appleseed Dead at 54

Last night one of the most well known men of this era was found dead at the age of 54. John Oliver Appleseed was found facedown in his Las Angeles apartment. As many of you know, Johnny Appleseed's maiden name was John Appleweed. Growing up, Appleweed was abused by his parents Chuckie and Gretta. This forced him into an early addiction of drugs and alcohol. Getting involved with drugs made Johnny want to experiment and create new drugs and concoctions. Thus marijuana, or "weed" was born. Many parents these days who enjoyed the invention, have twisted the story of Johnny Appleseed. Parents claim he is a nice, warm, boy who loves apples instead of a drugged man who was selfish and disobedient towards his parents. With Johnny Appleseed deceased, many have emailed me asking what the cause of death was. Most believe that Appleseed died from a drug overdose. Whatever the true cause, we can be certain that Johnny Appleseed will be remember. Appleseed leaves behind a wife, Joan, a dog and a cat. His funeral will be held at grandma's house.

Why I Hate Philadelphia Sports

Hello CRAB-people (and idiots)

Here I would like to explain my hate for the city of Philadelphia and its fans. First let me ask you this before you hate on me for hatin, have you ever spent any amount of time around a Philly fan whilst discussing sports? Think about it. Maybe you got lucky and talked to a Philly fan from a different part of the country, or a Christian Philly fan or something, so he/she wasn't too obnoxious. But if you are like myself, Crabitz, and sometimes DiCrabrio, you have spent enough time around Philly fans to despise them. Here's how it works...

They hate every team that isn't the Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, or 76ers. I have been told "Jets suck" by countless amounts of foolish philly swine. ...Why? We play the eagles in the preseason and maybe in the reg season once every four years. Grow up. Stop hating on my team, hate the Giants they are in your division...keep to your weak NFC. They also say "Yankees suck!" which I understand because everyone hates historically great teams. I would hate the Yankees if I wasn't an NY fan. So that I get, but still, grow up, Yanks and Phils are NOT rivals.

60% of Phillies fans or more are complete bandwagoners. You know its bad when women voice their opinions strongly...with beer...about sports they know nothing about. I've recently heard a woman pronounce "Hunter Pence" wrong. Goodone... "whos this new guy? Pencee? He's good!"- moron.

They hate their teams but back them up no matter. Makes sense right? Here's a good one "Eagles are the team to beat this year! Just need a quarterback! Get rid of McNabb!!!" and the ever so common "Get rid of Andy Reid! Thats why the Eagles can't win!"

Andy Reid is the sole reason the Eagles have ever been half successful. You can cry about Buddy Ryan all you want people, he never won you a single playoff game. And D-Nabb put up some fantastic stats. Sure, he blarfed everywhere one game, and yea, he underthrew receivers a bit. But he was good.
I also was a fan of "nah Kolb is our starter forget that dog-killer I won't root for the Eagles if he's our QB". Two weeks later it was "Vick top 10 of all time?!" I'm serious, I heard that from a guy. He was dead serious .

Alright well now you know some of my reasons for being on strike against Philly. Also think Rocky is an idiot, still like the movies, but he's pretty dumb. Its a shame that I have to hate Philly, so many of my closest friends are Philly fans. I love when they attack NY. We are rivals with Boston, not Philly. Get your facts straight and go continue the rivalry you have against yourselves...loving and hating your teams with all your heart. Hopefully a fellow CRAB can also explain the different generations of Philadelphia fans, because the old school and new school fans are different.

Don't take this personally Philly, it only applies to 3/4 of you philly fans that read this (if you can read it). Peace out, Go NY. BTW everyone should order the jersey pictured above. PACE.- J.G.

A Second Hurricane to hit the East Coast?

As many of you know, Hurricane Irene just passed through the northeast region smashing through the states of North Carolina all the way up to Maine. Thankfully, this storm was not catastrophic as many people predicted. That being said, another hurricane has started to develop in the Bahamas and again is threatening the east coast. The storm appears to look normal with winds gusting around 100 mph, and heavy rain. It promises to give flooding, petrifying many residents who have just moved back into their homes. Now, as many folks know many of these hurricanes have names, but this one did not. This had scientists baffled, wondering how such a large hurricane had never been given a name at its birth. After looking hard at the hurricanes movement patterns and disturbing image, the researchers came up with the name "John Stamos". With this information we all need to board up our homes, gather our families, and think about our dads. Stay safe and dry people of the east coast- Len

Film Review: Memento

First and foremost, I would like to again apologize for the major slackage on the site. Us CRABs have been very busy on various endeavors and being the entrepreneurs we are we had to attend to certain important issues. That being said, I recently made a new friend in the film industry and he suggested that we watch his favorite movie, "Memento". I had never heard of it; but apparently it is well known and loved (so my friend says). I think he told me before I watched it but I guess I forgot, but I was pleased to read in the opening credits that it was a Christopher Nolan film. I knew right then I was going to like it; but not as much as I actually did. I was a little taken back when he showed me the trailer. The trailer wasn't all that well done and the film appeared to be very low budget. Anyway, the film is like inception and 50 first dates fused; a complete mind stimulation takes place as you watch it, with the same premise as 50 first dates (short term memory loss). Guy Pearce, the lead, does a fantastic job. Now being the guy I am and loving movies as much as I do I was surprised that I had never previously know this Pearce guy (see what I did there?). He was very convincing and quite fabulous, really. Anyway, so the movie is a series of flashbacks mashed up with somewhat present thoughts. I won't explain the movie because I don't want to take anything away from it, I'll just say it was great.
The only complaint I have about the film is that you really can't grasp the whole thing in just one viewing. I had to ask my friend about some of the loose ends, and its sort of like inception in the way that Lenny (Pearce) consistently fools the audience (in inception you sometimes had to wonder what was a dream and what wasn't). Also, the movie reminds me of the novel "one flew over the cuckoo's nest" because you really question if the protagonist is full of it or not. Just watch the movie.

PLOT: 9.5
ACTING: 8.75
SHOTS: 7.5
REPLY VALUE : HIGH
OVERALL RATING (J.G. ONLY, CRAB Rating TBD): 8.75

2000 Views, Great Thanks!

Even through the darkest times you people keep following the CRABs, thank you so much for your loyalty to the game. I can't explain how thrilled I am that we have gotten to 2000 views. The goal was indeed 5000 by end of summer 11, and though it looks like we'll be short of that goal, it was fun trying and spending virtual time with you all.
When we are truly famous one day, we'll look back on this post and smirk; thinking of all the hard work and training we squeezed through to get where we will be... yes. I leave you with this (Photo Below) and a whole lot of love. May the CRABs be with you, and be prepared for more awesomeness to come your way. PACE!
-J.G. Crabitt

Why the Eagles will FAIL to make the Postseason in 2012

As many of you know, the NFL Lockout has come to an end. With everything coming together all at once, this has lead to a crazy free agency/transaction period. Nnamdi Asomugha, probably the biggest free agent has just recently signed with the Philadelphia Eagles. Also, big names like Cullen Jenkins, Vince Young, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, and Jason Babin have also signed. With all of these acquisitions, many fans believe that this is the year that the eagles make it over the hump and win the super bowl. Unfortunately, that will not happen. Free agency pick ups do not add up to super bowl victories. We can look at the 2007 New York Giants who literally picked up nobody before the year of their title run. Teams tend to win because of good drafting and making smart trades. Adding free agents often stirs up the locker room. For example, signing Asomugha to a huge deal upsets players that have worked their butts off over the past years at that position. We can look at Asante Samuel. I personally do not think that he will be back with the club. And if he does come back I think that he will have a down year. I do not think that this is because his skills are diminishing by any means, I say this because when you bring in a top guy who everyone is scared of, teams will often look at the other players behind them and exploit their weaknesses. Look at what happened last year to Antonio Cromartie in New York. Although Cromartie is a pro bowl corner, teams studied him and threw at him like crazy because of Darrelle Revis. Therefore, I think that even though the eagles secondary looks better, they will struggle with trust in each other. Also, I think that when you have a quarterback like Vick that sacrifices his body as much as he does, you cannot think that he will be healthy for a full 16 games. With the NFC getting stronger and stronger, and with Vince Young not knowing the offense, the eagles will be a disaster without Vick in the lineup. The third reason is because both Dallas and NYG will be improved from last year. The Giants were good statistically both offensively and defensively, but were unable to finish off games. Dallas on the other-hand, lacked coaching and played without their pro-bowl quarterback Tony Romo. This being said, I expect both teams to come out strong for Philly to falter. You know when new players are already comparing themselves to the Miami Heat, that everyone is going to hate you. The Eagles have always been hated, and comments and additions like these are only going to make people despise them more. Good luck eagles, this year you will be finishing 9-7 and miss the playoffs. Crabtacular. -Len

Bane's Costume Revealed!

Hey Kids,
First off may I say I am incredibly sorry for the long time no post ordeal; I have been busy on other projects (such as the Muscles Gladstone/JG Crabbit musical collab). I know you will all pardon me and understand. First may I say I like the look for Bane, but I will not invest too much stock in these photos. I'm POSITIVE he will not be wearing the thick coat the whole time because in the teaser Bane is seen approaching a tired Batman in little to no clothes. Second, hats off to Nolan for doing what he does best; making comic book characters fit into the modern world. Joker was great (I'm a better Joker, proven) and Scarecrow was fantastic. Not to mention Neison as Ghul. Straight up killed it. I'm not going to go on rambling because the picture tells a story in itself, Party foul? Enjoy, and thanks to our longtime friends at Ign.com for covering the story first, letting us steal it, and get hits on our superior blog. PACE!

Have A crabby viewing of Bane and his pre-maturely balding self, and click the title, its a link, fools.

Friends with Benefits

I would like to start this post by saying that my rating on this film is slightly bias as I am firstly a huge fan of Romantic Comedies (Rom-Coms) and secondly love both Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis (both for their own reasons).  As one can only imagine with the preconceived admiration for the combo Friends with Benefits provides, I did greatly enjoy the film. As I am also a huge fan of Jason Segel, when I discovered he had a minor role it made my day.  The minor character inject the humor consistent with Rom-Coms that I like so much. Woody Harrelson plays the sports columnist at GQ and he is a hilarious single gay man on the hunt for fresh meat (excuse the expression). Richard Jenkins (some may recognize as the father from the comedy Step Brothers) plays Justin Timberlake's father in the film; Jenkins provides as much comic relief as he does a tone of seriousness that brings the film down to earth.  Andy Samberg and Emma Stone also make comedic cameos at the beginning of the film.

As a man I consider myself and those I associate to be fashionable dressers, and if I had more money than I knew what to do with I would buy extremely nice clothes. However, I don't remember ever seeing anyone dress as well as Justin Timberlake consistently through out a film. With an array of amazing shoes, blazers, skinny ties, and cardigans, Justin exudes an air of casual richness. Also just in in case anyone didn't know, Mila Kunis is Hot! Yep, shes hot and she knows it and she is still funny and awesome; go figure she may be perfect. The sexual chemistry between Kunis and Timberlake appears natural and is amplified by the landscapes. Both New York and LA are illustrated in a great light, but New York is still pushed as the city of opportunity. The use of running jokes and cleverly crude humor made this a must see Rom-Com. The sex/love hybrid plot though nearly identical to the Ashton + Natalie flick from a couple months ago does not fail to meet expectations.

Movie Rating: 8.0
See-ability: Theater Worthy
Replay Value: medium+ 
Acting: 7
CRAB Rating: 8.3

DiCrabs Out

Captain America

If the world is not enough for Pierce Brosnan, than using that same logic the world is a little to much for Chris Evans.  Captain America: The First Avenger is a solid comic book film, but as it is just that I have a few problems with it.  First things first, too much of the movie was devoted to Evans as a show puppet and not enough time of him being awesome.  This is my personal rule of thumb for superhero movies, when in doubt just shoot more footage of the hero being awesome.  I honestly think that more time needs to be devoted to showcasing the body transformation of the actor playing the hero.  Directors should put more stock in the new features as they were requirements for the role. Two: the middle of the movie dragged on; so much so that I went into nod-off mode (to the movie's defense I was extremely tired, but still..).
Time for some good stuff.  As it turns out the special effects in this movie were incredible. Hugo Weaving as Red Skull and the digitally altered puny Chris Evans was astoundingly consistent.  I also thought there were many funny parts that truly made the film a joy to watch; Tommy Lee Jones and Stanley Tucci were excellent minor characters and aided this refreshing comic side of the film. I don't wanna give away any of the plot for those who have yet to see it so I will end with my ratings.
Movie Rating: 7.8
See-ability: Theater Worthy
Replay Value: medium
Acting: 8
CRAB Rating: 7.4

Goodnight and have a CRABtastic Voyage through life

DiCrabs out!

Amazing Spiderman

Hey all,
Caught a glimpse of the Amazing Spiderman trailer last night from the guys at IGN.com, if you haven't seen it click on the title of the post, its a link to the trailer. This makes disappointing back-to-back super hero trailers; leaving me, a superhero buff, quite melancholy. By the looks of it, I'm not feeling the reboot for the following reasons : Actors chosen, costume, and plot (I'll explain).

Actors: I can't stand the idea of seeing Andrew Garfield pick up Tobey's costume and being the new Spiderman, most likely a top 3 favorite hero amongst the American people. The kid is a good actor, don 't get me wrong, he just isn't spiderman. You can say I'm judging too early, or that I'm biased because I liked the first 2 Spiderman movies so much (3rd? Nope), but I'll tell you what I think. Garfield is that whiny loser guy in The Social Network. He did a great job as that clown and now all I can muster up in my head is that he's depressed that Zuckerberg was better than him so he went out, purposely got bitten by a radioactive spider, and became spiderman (that sucks). Not to mention he's as skinny as a rail with a neck longer than a snapping turtle lunging to bite this guy. Plus I hate the idea of the "new age" spiderman. I guess he appeared in the late 90's or 2000's but he's way too thin and scrawny. I supposed that it the spiderman they were looking for here? Rather than the legit Spiderman that is definitely not un-legit like Garfield? Even when he "bulks up" like Tobey did he's still looking like a hungry young adult. Oh well, you can't always get what you want.
I would also like to comment on the castings of Emma Stone, Martin Sheen, and Sally Fields. Love them all, like none of the castings. I hate when they try to make big name actors into minor characters. Stupid, and distracting. The first 3 spiderman's did it perfectly. And actually I lied a little because I do not like Emma stone, something about her annoys me.
Moving on...
Costume: Not big on the costume because once again, it's just not comic book accurate enough for me to enjoy. Spiderman is a ridiculous far'fetched idea as it is, might as well keep the costume accurate. Its not like Batman where it could happen and so they didn't give him the pull over underwear in the movies, nah mean? Don't like it.

Plot: The plot is easy to judge based on the trailer. Comic book origin, love story, and villain. Hate the idea that there is no Mary Jane Watson, honestly its not Spiderman without Mary Jane. Mary Jane is always going to be Dunst to me because I love those movies. Also, I do sort of like the idea of making Lizard the first villain, but the Goblin is necessary because of Peter and Harry's relationship. Is he in the reboots? This Amazing Spiderman movie should just ..., because we don't want any.


Have Crabtastic Voyage, PACE! - J.G.
And the Spidey to the left, sucks, the one above, is good.