Introducing Crab Pitt!

Ello Blokes,
Us, as a unit, have decided to formally introduce to you, a change in the CRAB body. CRAB Crabtain Barbossa has expressed his desire to permanently change his name to Crab Pitt earlier this evening. With the support of his fellow MAD member Crabitz as well as getting a nod from both myself and DiCrabrio, this marks the first and possibly only ever CRAB name change. From now on, Crab Pitt will be referred to as so, but if we accidently called him Crabtain, we beg your pardon and hope you will be forgiving. Welcome Crab Pitt with an ice cold sharp's and a good ol fashioned sing-a-long.

It's a Banger: Multiple Party Fouls

CRAB Nation we have a lot to discuss within the few thousand pixel's here. With one of the CRABs embarking on a quest this upcoming week, (in which he will pursue further domination) we decided to have a CRABtogether before he set sail on the bloody wicked seas of courage. Within our time sea-dwelling, multiple party fouls were given or recognized. Barbossa (future name change coming? stay tuned) was given the responsibility of inviting all CRABs over for a time of clawing and ballin, but failed to remember to invite FAG team member DiCrabrio. I myself received an invite and of course MAD team member Crabitz was already at the tank. For not inviting Leo, Crabtain receives a party foul. Enjoy that Sharp's, Cpt.

Next I will be dealing with my party foul, quite an honest mistake, honestly. I witnessed a dog defecating in the street today, and rather than stopping the dog (somehow) I turned to fellow FAG team member Leo D. and chuckled. Because of my foolishness, Leo ran over the stink with the truck and rather than drowning the smell, he intensified it. The doo doo was stuck on the back trailer tire, which followed me throughout the forest and as I winced in pain and regretted I ever mad eye contact with the little pooper. The sharp's is mixed with vanilla coke and is quite cold.

The third party foul and possibly the biggest of the post, was Leo DiCrabrio's failure to attend a planned CRAB hangout. The other three CRABs were chillin in the tank and DiCrabio says he'll be there, only never to show up. Hope the Sharps goes down smoothly.

The final is Len Crabitz's disgusting gesture; dropping 4 perfectly good burger buns on the ground. Shake and bake len, shake and bake. Hope your sharp's is warm when you drink it and you get sick, tool.

PACE from the CRABs because we're all chillin right now.



They aren't just hanging with us because we were in the same movie, they're hanging with us because they want to be us

Golddiggers want the Crab Dollars

Over the years, we have seen the relationship of men and women change gradually. Back in the day, women stayed home and took care of the kids, while men went to work to support the family financially. However, as years go by, we see men and women doing both roles. Many women nowadays go to work, instead of staying home full time. Also, we have seen the divorce rate go up higher and higher. The biggest reason that couples get divorced is because of money. Is it because men and women are both working? No. It's because of people like Jane from the Jetsons. Jane is a golddigger. A golddigger is someone who marries someone else because of their wealth. Many times we see old men on television with beautiful, attractive, young wives. The young women do not really love the old men, but are in the relationship strictly for the Crab dollars. In my opinion, the Jetsons is a bad television show because of Jane. Check out the following introduction of the Jetsons and see what I mean. VIDEO. Feel free to leave a crabby comment. Extra mad if possible.

Finished the 1st Book

Finishing the 1st book of my favorite books series of all time mere minutes ago, I decided to share with you the fans what I thought as I finished the last page. I cannot stand the fact that this book series and all that went with it, a thing I counted on consistently year after year, will actually be over. I get a feeling very similar to that of watching the last film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy: Return of the King. For those of you who are fans like myself you must agree that the movie brings upon emotion rivaled by few. The scene where Aragorn tells Frodo and the hobbits that "My friends, you bow to no one..." brings tears right up to the surface of the eyeball even if they do not spill out for the world to see, I get that welling up feeling in the pit of my soul.  Emotion that one may expect from another phenomenal book series.  Any way this is how I felt today as I finished Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, because sure I can survive reading and reading the series, but the journey is over. Though I have the 2nd novel to look forward to tomorrow, I want J.K. Rowling to bless me with something else to look forward to like we all did with the Harry Potter series.
Side note: Dumbledore in the end of the the 1st book is the paradigm of mentors/ heroes I would ever have wished to have.  The man is so incredibly boss, he should have his own book.

Have a Crabby Day folks with love and madness,
DiCrabs Out.
   

Potter Struggles

An enjoyable struggle, but a struggle non the less; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone I began yesterday. The novel though amazing and a super fast read, my super busy CRAB schedule has provided me limited time to devote to J.K. Rowling's genius.  Nearly finished the first installment of the Harry Potter saga, I have a few questions and observations I wish to share:

• I have been saying this since the I heard the books series would stop at 7, but Rowling should really attempt to put into writing Hogwarts a History a book referenced by Hermione Granger countless times.  Side Note: (Emma Watson if you are reading this my friend J.G. Crabitt is single and a stud of a CRAB).
• I wish more time was spent in Dumbledore's character.  I find the character extremely interesting so I am sure others feel the same way. The book that Rita Skeeter puts out in the Deathly Hollows, though maddening sparks the readers mind.  As for me I want more, if there were a Dumbledore book maybe a biography, I would read it.  
• As for the first book, I would like to note that Harry's first flight on the Nimbus 2000 and Christmas are amazing scenes.  Not only is Harry finally feeling free from the Dursley's grasp and establishing a home at Hogwarts, but flying and Christmas are two of my favorite things.
• And for Goodness sake, what does Dumbledore see in the mirror of Erised? Everyone knows its not woolen socks...I just want to know I do not want to imagine.  Is it his sister and mother? World peace? What does Dumbledore, the symbol of love and wisdom, desire within his heart of hearts?
• Was Ron really that good at Wizard Chess? I mean he was like 11 years old, is he really a strategic master mind? I feel like that isn't really in his Ronald Weasley's character description.
• Absolutely LOVE John Williams' score for the Harry Potter movies.  I can't help but hear that in my mind as I am reading the book.

That's it for now Potter CRABS, have a Crabby night.

DiCrabs Out.

Muscles Gladstone remixes Monster with a CRABby Finish

Muscles Gladstone a CRAB affiliate or should I say a friend of mine, came out with his first single yesterday.  A remix of Kayne West's Monster, Gladstone does an excellent job establishing an maintaining a sinister flow. The last couple lines, of this first outstanding piece of rap are, dedicated to the CRAB Blog Nation.  Which for all you with their heads lodge somewhere far up an arse is kind of a big deal.  Using my CRABlicious touch, I did a little slideshow work to bring the two together.  Enjoy some CRABtastic picture linked with a flow of Monstrous proportions.

May the CRABs be with you,

DiCrabs Out.   

Thank you World

Today we received views from Pakistan and the United Kingdom. Germany has been a consistent viewer all along with a few from the Ukraine. Our dream for global dominance is fast approaching. Awesome guys thanks a lot for your views, they are greatly appreciated.  CRABs 4 Life, every now and then I get a little bit Crabby.

Have a Crabby day Gents,
DiCrabs Out.

Public Party Foul: Consistently Sucking

Look I don't usually do things like this, deem public party fouls practically out of the blue, but I just felt it necessary tonight. I want to start making the blog more fan-aimed, where people can come and read up on movie reviews, sports, music, and anything that pleases the mind. I didn't really have a feel where to start, I mean I've seen so many dang movies lately but I don't want to go on ranting about them just yet... because Brad Garrett is pissing me off. I hate walking in front of the screen and seeing his awkwardly rolled shoulders and 7 foot head mumbling something about how everybody loves his nasally challenged Italian foot-soldier TV brother more than him, and thats why he turned out to be a tool. His angry Eustace clone of a father sits on the lazy-boy, beer in hand, verbally beating the guy to a pulp. Love frank, by the way, only character making the show half-viewable when you're waiting for your mushroom hair-cutted brother to get back to the house so you can start playing FIFA or something. Anyway, nobody likes him, Capish? His own mother in the show gave him no attention, clear sign that you suck there Robbie Barone. What makes a character suck? You can blame the writers all you want but I'm blaming Garrett 100%. Brad you get multiple thumbs down this week and the first ever public party foul for a crime worse than murder: Sucking.

Need I explain myself even further?

Have the most Crabby Day possible kids. PACE

1000 Views, Thanks from the CRABs!

Thanks to all for making the CRAB blog the best blog to ever reach 1000 views. Other blogs, even after reaching 1000 views, usually manage to continue sucking (unlike CRAB Blog). Keep viewing our page for exciting updates and stories and to be reminded of how good it is to be a CRAB. We love all land lovers and ocean dwellers alike, CRAB-fans are the best! Remember to keep it Crabby and you know we'll keep clawing in the awesomeness.

PACE- J.G.C and the rest of CRABs

By the way, don't be hermits, add your thoughts in the comments section!



CRABs

Boogie Man Sighting?

Apparently, the boogie man has been coming up recently in the news. Like the yeti, abominable snowman, or the loch-ness monster, the boogie man has been running (or hiding) for thousands of years. People who claim to have seen the boogie man have said that he is a bald, middle-aged man, with a voice who deeply pains the ears. Immediately you would think, "wait, so is he like stone-cold steve austin?" or "sounds like britney spears"(YIKES). Well come to think of it, couldn't it be someone who is a little more manly than either of them? Someone like... Howie Mandel for instance? Mandel, the creater of the boogie board and the "boogie woogie" recently pleaded guilty for insanity. In two different occasions, parents caught Mandel sleeping underneath the beds of children. For those who take this lightly, think again. Mandel is a villain looking to better himself. After playing the role of the sandman in the film "Hansel and Gretel", Mandel became disgruntled for being disallowed of playing both the roles of the sandman and the boogie man. Because of this, it could be extremely likely that Mandel went on a rampage looking to sleep under beds. Wouldn't you? think about it. Now think about your dad.
Krabby to Kingler-im out.

Back On Track: Parkour on Tour

Today my fellow funny guy and I embarked on yet another free-running adventure. Before my eyes was a new course, a course unseen by all but the eyes of God and a few campers. As I did my stretching I looked to my left, took note... then to my right, and took note. Not much playing ground for a CRAB fresh off the D-L, so I had to make due with my new android ankle and some old tricks. I started off with a dub-kick, nothing impressive, but managed to work myself into a tree downslide to kick-out, followed later by a handstand toe-clap. You've got to remember land lovers, I'm working with a robotic ankle constructed by Dr. Gero. Anyway, I passed the dimly lit torch to my F.A.G bro DiCrabrio, who glanced at me from a distance, squinted his eyes and began to walk away. Honestly I thought he had given up on the sport, until I saw what no CRAB has seen. So many activities I had to take notes on my iphonepad. First, a double kick, followed by a Tree Split Hand Grab and a Dirt wall run. An seemingly injured DiCrabrio, also fatigued, then performed possibly his greatest feat; a 360 under flag, setting the torch and almost the world on fire. A great day in the world of free running, what an art. Not to mention Goldblum was inducted as the 1st honorary CRAB today.

God Bless Everyone, Don't get your crabbies in a bunch!
PACE- J.G.

Emma Watson

Yep. Love Her. Hope she checks out the blog... that's it

Have a crabby day world, PACE

Goldblum: First Honorary CRAB

 First Honorary CRAB

After weeks of meticulous research and preparations, the CRABs have come to a unanimous decision to make Jeffery Lynn Goldblum the first of a select group, the Honorary CRABs. Mr. Goldblum for your outstanding CRAB-like contributions to the world of men we would like to honor you with this most unique of awards.

I would like to first highlight some of your key attributes that made you the most desirable applicant in our CRAB eyes. The characteristic that far outweighs the rest, I speak for the all the CRABs when I say this, is your outstanding performance as the character Dr. Ian Malcolm in the global phenomenon Jurassic Park. Jeff I have to say that performance not only changed the way I viewed the label doctor for my entire life, but it also inspired me to adorn my car with two vinyl replicas of your face (in progress). Some may say that having the face of your idol on your vehicle is a bit much, and to those people I say “How dare you speak to me.”

The man, the myth, and the Fly, Goldblum has done everything and more than one would expect for such a handsome and well to do man loved by all. Goldblum is truly a renaissance man, well-known for his deep appreciation for not only the taste of food, but the experience just the smell alone can suffice for a man so astute in the ways of the world. The noble peach, one of Jeffery’s favorite fruits, exudes an aroma unmatched by measly berries or other lesser fruits.  Goldblum eats, breathes, and defecates excellence; there is no room in his life for inferior beings. If he were a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor he would be a spoonful of awe-inspiring Goldblumage.

I’d like to take this time here towards the end of this celebration to recognize a few of the amazing films Jeffery Lynn has blessed the screen in.  A convincing performance and certainly memorable came in the form an animated movie in which he lent his voice: the Prince of Egypt. Movies like Jurassic Park, Independence Day, the Fly, and Spinning Boris truly put Goldblum on the map and now he is the map.  Jeff Goldblum it is a privilege to announce that you sir are now officially the first ever, as there has not been any previous, Honorary CRAB! Love and tears leak from my eyes as I admire the magnificence of this occasion, Jeffery Lynn Goldblum welcome to the family.