Wade Phillips Dazzles

Over the years, I have watched both NFL and NBA coaches continually fail at their jobs. These coaches have done absolutely nothing for their organizations besides flat out suck. A couple of these coaches include Kevin McHale, Rick Adelman, Norv Turner, and of course Wade Phillips. Being a huge fan of sports in general it deeply pains me to see these lousy bums continually get hired over uprising assistants and young college coaches. Organizations talk about how these coaches are experienced veterans who have proven to be able to deal with the egos of athletes and will bring strong discipline to the table. However, none of these coaches have done anything good for their leagues. They all get paid huge salaries to hurt their organizations. For example, look at the work done by both Norv Turner and Wade Phillips. After a 14-2 season for the San Diego Chargers, Norv Turner replaced Marty Schottenheimer as head coach. The following year was supposed to be a super bowl season, but instead they barely reached the playoffs with an 11-5 record. On the other side of the coin we have Wade Phillips. Phillips was hired because he was laid back and could deal with Jerry Jones's controlling personality, as well as bringing "experience and leadership". The Dallas Cowboys are a first class organization. They have won 5 championships and are always expected to make long playoff runs. Thankfully, the cowboys have made a change and fired Phillips after a four year tenure. Now the ex-coach can be seen dancing in Hawaii with the fiddler crabs. SOOOO MAD.

CRABCORE?

Crabcore has been labeled a new sub-genre of music,when in actuality it is merely a crab-looking movement.  Synonymous with the emocore/screamo hard rock music the band Attack Attack is responsible for this new   form of stage performance.  I have to say I appreciate the attempt to impress us CRABs, but you could have utilized a more melodious form of flattery.  The disturbing fact is that the crabcore motion and the techno breakdown are actually the only redeeming parts in the music video ("Stick Stickly").  Attack Attack you receive a Crabby honorable mention for effort, but your music is not yet music.


Have a Crabby Day Everyone

My Teas Gone Cold...

Here we have a classic for all generations to enjoy. I'm a little discouraged that the opening lyric is "my tea's gone cold" but nonetheless, the song is amazing, angelic, and genuinely impressive. As a matter of fact, everyone reading this should go to youtube right now and watch all of Dido's music videos. It almost makes the Sharp's Miller Non-Alcoholic beverage I'm drinking enjoyable (joke of course because it is absolutely pleasant).
What I'm trying to leave you with is this; in any mood or circumstance Dido can make it better, more positively dramatic, and I love her. Let Dido float your boat, I know she floats mine.
Have a Crabby Day Padawan's

Parkour Free Running at Work

J.G. Crabbit and I collectively upped our game at work today. During our weekly recycling duties (you know we do our part to save the Planet) we chose to add a little flare by infusing Parkour free running. With Len Crabitz at the wheel of our recycling receptacle we took off. Speeding off down the road Crabbit started slow with a few can jumps but worked up into a couple spectacular aerobatic marvels.  A toe kick rivaled by no other followed by a stifling kick off tree.  Not the athletic boss my partner is, I started slower with a few hops and stump jumps, but came into my own with a flawless spin off tree.  Crabitz had his mind blown.  Next week I'll give you more Parkour updates as my teammate and I dare to reach our mythical potential.

Have a Crabby Day peeps.

Feelin Old School

During half time of the Mavs/Heat game, I decided to play some NBA 2k11 for the 360. Of course I had to play with my childhood favorite, Chicago Bulls. One player stood out to me (besides Kukoc, Jordan, Pippen, Rodman, or Kerr) and that was Ron Harper. Loved him growing up, so I wanna quick share some dunkage with ya.

Have a crabby day ladies and gents

Dumb & Dumber Inception Style

Can't wait till Dumb & Dumber Inception Style comes out in theaters.  Definitely midnight show worthy, the producers did a flawless job.  Though it seems to me that they are slightly lacking in the advertising department.  I mean, this is the first time I'm hearing about a movie of this caliber its kind of a shocker.  So I figured I'd help them out a bit,  EVERYONE GO SEE THIS MOVIE

Have a Crabby Day boys & girls

Ps.  This is fake.

 

Safari Zone

Look, I'm a huge fan of the safari zone and all of the pokemon it has to offer (speaking primarily of blue/red mind you) but sometimes it just ticks me right off. Wild Pinsir appears. I bait it. I wait, patiently. I'm feeling good about this pinsir sitting in my PC as a "Pincorey" or "Coreysir" right? WROng! The safariball seizes to hit Pinsir twice before he flees into the 1% chance I'll ever find his beetlejuice-looking mug again. On my way to find the Warden's teeth, I find a tauros with about 33 steps to spare. He glances at my half-shaken gameboy color blue eyes, lifts his head, and bounces. Just like that. Missed him with a safariball. So I try half-stepping my way to find the warden's teeth until the buzzer rings and I am sent out of the zone resenting ever stepping foot in the dang place. I know I have to find the danged warden's false chompers in there because I talked to him earlier and he slurred more words than a drunk "good-evening sir" toll collector. I was tempted to ask him "Dave, where's your teeth?" but figured it to be inappropriate in 2d retrospective and considering my Butterfree is Butler (?) (See Above Right). So basically this is just a J.G. Rant. To keep it funny I consistently threw rocks at nidorina's.

Have a crabby day jobins,

Crabbit

P.S. Don't make the same mistake I did. Party Foul

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 Featurette

A glance back at the entire Harry Potter saga, love it.

Have a Crabby Day

The Lonely Island: Jack Sparrow

Jack Sparrow featuring Michael Bolton in another The Lonely Island original off their new album Turtleneck & Chain.

Enjoy and have a Crabby Day everyone.

Dr. Ian Malcolm and More Dr. Ian Malcolm

Ian Malcolm is the mathematical genius responsible for the Chaos theory introduced in the cinema classic Jurassic Park.  The man is so ridiculously boss that the White Stripes made a video honoring his Crabtastic performance in these epic movies (click the White Stripes Link to partake).  Jeff Goldblum tugs on our heartstrings in an emotional interview, where he reveals the emotional connection he established with his character in Jurassic Park.  As Goldblum is asked by a fellow cast member to sacrifice his character for the life of the other (Lawyer, Martin Ferrero) he asks the philosophical question "Who wants to die?"  Its a good thing that Spielberg thought Ferrero was an idiot because Malcolm will forever trump the Fiddler Crab Lawyer.  Dr. Ian Malcolm the CRABS love and salute you.

Have a Crabby Day everybody.    

Party Foul: FB

Craptain Barbossa will be receiving a party foul for his recent un-CRAB-like behavior.  Barbossa was found guilty by the CRAB Jury for a case of premature Facebook friending.  Craptain, there is a cold can of Sharps Miller Non-Alcoholic beer with your name on it.

Have a Crabby Day folks.

Party Foul: Diglet Dig

Joseph Gordon Crabbitt will be receiving the first official CRAB BLOG Party Foul for singing the "diglett dig" song (which many may remember from the Pokemon television show) without purpose or respect for his fellow CRABS. Though it brings back great memories of a classic television show from our youth J.G. Crabbitt will be drinking a Sharps Miller Non-Alcoholic Beer at the next CRABS meeting.

PS. Any who wish to hear the song that birthed this infraction click on diglett dig above.

Have a Crabby Day.

Remember This?

Tracy McGrady scores a Crabtastic 13 points in 35 seconds, to beat the then dominant Spurs.

Have a Crabby Day everybody.

First CRAB BLOG Post

CRABS 4 Life, every now and then I get a little bit crabby and you're never coming round
CRABS 4 Life, every now and then I get a little bit crabby and I see that look in your eyes

A song made famous by the famous Bonnie Hunt, who you may recall from movies like Jumanji, Cars, or the Green Mile.

Have a Crabby Day everyone.