Does the Green Lantern Shine?

First off I just wanted to let you all know that I am aware this post is overdue. Rather than letting it collect more in my mind I figured I would share it, unlike all of the previous movies I have sought to review (and never made time for it). I especially want to discuss this movie because it hits close to home. I'm a big super hero fan, not so big into comics, but I am a big fan of the characters. I just don't think I have the patience to read comics, though when I do, I typically enjoy them. Anyway, so the green lantern movie was fantastic in some ways, poor in others. I'll start with the pros because I'm a positive guy. The Special effects and CGI were amazing. Out of this world. Sinestro looked perfect. I think it might have had the best effects I have ever seen (apart from Reynold's ring tricks, I'm speaking more of character models, destruction, and the world of OA). I liked everything about the camera angles, shots, and use of effects. Definitively the biggest thing the movie had going for it. The acting was also better than expected, I felt like Sarsgaard and Strong were the two best, but Reynolds surprising played a pretty good GL/ Hal. I am not a Reynolds fan, I used to be a hater, but now I think I'm in the middle about him. Still would have preferred a different Hal, though. As far as I know the movie was pretty comic-ly accurate, I don't know if I'm wrong on that or not but regardless I know it was close. Side note- Blake Lively is attractive.
The reason I think this movie flopped on RT or IMDB is because of the lack of action. The character development wasn't 100% solid but it was good enough to sell a fresh review in my opinion, so the only thing I can muster up is the lack of "heart" for a superhero movie. The villain is parallax, who is pretty much just a cloud of sin until (SPOILERS) after the credits role and you see a sinister sinestro beginning his Corps. There was close to no action, any action you saw was in the trailer when Hal kicks Parallax Professor Egghead. I don't think the lack of action hurt the movie too much honestly, because I'm a sucker for "origins" and good stories. If the sequel happens (which I'm pretty sure was recently confirmed...) it will be better than the first, and I can practically guarantee it. Sinestro as the bad guy, sinestro corps vs GL corps with the introduction of other GL's will prove to be a solid summer blockbuster IF WRITTEN CORRECTLY. It would be a hard sequel to ruin, considering everyone thought the first movie was a bust.

OVERALL : 7.5
ACTING : 7
EFFECTS : 9
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 7
WORTH SEEING IN THEATERS? YES


Please don't mess this up Hollywood, I'm sick of admitting that Marvel's Movies are good.

In Brightest Crab, in Darkest Lobster, Don't lose hope just keep Crabbin on. PACE

Doing the Do a CRAB Story

With no more than a week left until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is released into the realm of the real world, I have decided to comment a tad on time and its effects on my mind. I would say time flies, if I believed it did.  Time, in my opinion, is a lousy good for nothing jerk who just likes to screw up your mindset in the hopes of increasing the depression rate in the world.  How is it that minutes turn to hours soo fast when you are actually enjoying yourself, but the second you clock in the rate of time slows to a near halt. Like I said I do not believe time flies because if it did I feel it would spend more time in the air. I pictured time as an overweight balding computer geek wearing dingy grey arm bands, a sweat-stained canary yellow shirt, and dirty white New Balance sneakers that are tied obscenely too tight. This man's only pleasure in life is to speed up time when others are having fun and do his best to stop it when awful activities flourish. See, in my mind time is controlled by a machine much like a treadmill. The fat geek, who I will call Morgan from here on out, is cursed to work in light of his internet sins.  While most of the world is at work Morgan attempts to slow this machine down to the point where he can utilize his laptop whilst walking (a step every once and a while), when most attempt to have fun he speeds up, but as he is very out of shape the burst of energy can only last so long.  Which is why good times seem to always come to an abrupt end.
As I made the transition into the third book today, I realized that Morgan will not allow me to finish these books and be joyful. He has other plans, which include: making my breaks, any time I happen to sleep, and  friendship time feel as though hours were minutes and the opposite for time I am working. Thinking each time I check the clock that I should be reading right now.  However, the time never comes for reading, only work.  Anytime I try to do anything fun Morgan with his greedy overweight grin hops on the time-treadmill-machine and awkwardly runs till my time is up.
Morgan I hate you.

DiCrabs out.
      

Burn the Houses Down!!!

I know that we have put many hours and blogs about the show "Cory in the House". As CRABS it is our sole duty to tell the public about bad influences such as Cory. But after really meditating on Cory and how much he has hurt television, I have learned that it isn't entirely his fault. I have done some research and have learned that television shows that have the word "house" automatically stink to high heavens. We can look at the show "House" which started off well, but has gradually gone downhill as the years go by. This is primarily because Gregory House now randomly has a giant limp and thinks he's tough. Sorry buddy most viewers just think you are a pup now. Nobody likes you. Secondly, we can look at the show "House of Payne". Do people seriously watch this show? No. People just want to know that there are people out there like Tyler Perry who are complete morons to make themselves feel better. The worst show of them all is "Full House". People seem to think that Full House is a warm, and funny show that is good to watch for all ages. But in reality, Full House makes kids stupid and ruins their creativity and sense of humor. Ever imagine what happens to a child's brain when they are forced to listen to Uncle Joey's horrible jokes? Or to watch Uncle Jesse pick up little girls when he already has a wife? Or worst of all, to watch Bob Saget act intelligent, warm, and sophisticated? If you said yes, you probably are brainwashed too. Sorry everybody but my kids won't be watching Uncle Joey, Bob Saget, House, or Tyler Perry. For once Cory, you don't take the blame for ruining everything. Great job. Anyway, stick to watching shows like Crabtain Planet and your kids might turn out a little crabbier than the rest of them. -Crabitz

Basketball Diaries

I just briefly want to escape the Harry Potter phase on the blog and draw your attention to some sports talk. Tonight I want to focus on one of my all time favorite players, Dennis Rodman. The 2 time NBA all-star and recent Hall of famer is without a doubt the best rebounder to ever play the game. Not only did he entertain us on the court, but off it as well with his extreme personality and antics. Rodman, who played for the Pistons, Spurs, Bulls, Lakers, and Mavericks, is a 5 time NBA champion as well as a 2 time defensive player of the year. Here he is being awesome. I love players like this, he's a Happy Gilmore of Basketball. Ya know who sucks? The Celtics. The only respectable player they have ever had is Larry Bird, or maybe this guy.



Have a great night and remain Crabby, PACE

J.G

Potter: Losing Hope

As the time inches closer and closer to the premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 the last installment of what might go unchallenged as the greatest book to film series of all time, I am beginning to lose faith that I can reread all of these books in time. As I live a very stressful, and time consuming CRAB life, it is hard to set aside time for reading.  Tonight will conclude with me finishing the second book, but frankly thats not good enough. I am not dedicated enough to the cause to put aside a flourishing social life and a spotty workout schedule.  Don't get me wrong I am a huge fan and I have already read each book close to 8 times on average the first three probably 12ish times. I am not admitting defeat either, nooooo I will push on even if I have no hope to finish, I will persist because I read out of respect for the tale and for its author. I should have given myself more time, but I am a bit full of myself sometimes and I can overestimate my abilities just a tad.  But I am in no way, however, a liar for I truly did believe I could do it. I posted a few Harry Potter videos just to provide a Potter-CRAB-pick-me-up for anyone feeling a tad down in the dumps like myself.
Enjoys the vids.
DiCrabs Obvi
 

Almost Done the Second Book: Thoughts of Power

A big thanks to J.G. Crabitt for doing the Potter post for the fourth in light of my internet ordeal. As I was reading the 2nd book today, I thought semi-deeply about powers and the glimmers of hope I have had throughout my life.

Have you ever thought to yourself, I might be a superhero? 

Well, earlier today and many times prior I observe things that maybe to the average human I believe may be in some instances invisible.  These unnatural observations have led me astray from better judgment, but sometime it feels good to say in my mind hey there’s still a shot I’m a freakin superhero.   It’s never just one occurrence it’s always a string of them.  Say I drop a sledgehammer on my foot (completely hypothetical), one would expect black and blue marks, swelling, and possibly disfiguration of a toenail.  However, this week I get away with no more than just slight discomfort, comparable to an uncomfortable pair of shoes.  So I observe this and I’m thinking dang I’m wolverine, yes!  Though sarcastic, the thought still enters my mind.  Two days pass and I am at work minding my on business when without warning my senses all begin to heighten.  Why can I see and read what the sign at the back of the store displays?  Why can I not only smell, but also decipher what customers had for dinner as they walk past?  As the night progresses my vision enhances yet again.  When I walk into my house after lights out, avoid turning on any lights as my eyes adapted instantly and I can see everything.  I close my self in a closet, just to rule out moonlight for my mind is becoming frantic with possibly super human glee.  Dreams laced with Déjà vu, fill my mind when asleep and when I wake.  I can see vapors unseen by any other.  The vapors are consistent with what I picture midi-chlorians to be; the substance of the universe or force within the Star Wars universe.  “Yes, I have finally tapped into my Jedi power,” I say to myself before my brain can stop me. 

So I can see really well and I didn’t get hurt once, give me a cape cause I’m gonna do the world some good. 


May the CRABs be with you,


DiCrabs Out.     

3 Down and a Sharp's to go

With DiCrabrio's internet down I offered to do the Potter post of the day. I feel like I should be getting a party foul for what you're about to read, and I would humbly accept it. I started the Sorcerers Stone the other day in hopes that I could at least finish the first 2 books by the time the final movie came out. Thus far I have completed 3 chapters and that is all. I haven't really had much time, been working a ton lately, but nonetheless no excuse to not read about Mr. Potter's adventures. I will add, however, that in just my brief time re-reading this book, I have grown to hate the Dursely's more and notice that Dumbledore is ultra-boss. So great job Rowling. I plan on reading more tomorrow, but as for now I must meditate and rest for I am sick as a fish out of the water.

If you just watched the video, then ya suck.

So wish me luck as I continue my quest through Hogwarts and whatever.
PACE

Beginning the 2nd Potter

As I began Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets today, I found myself looking at the extreme hardship Harry is put through as though it were the first time. The same treatment in our society if on a dog would be punished justly.  However, the Dursleys treat Harry as if he were a lesser being and to even further this feeling of hardship Rowling introduces the character of Doby.  The house elf is bound to its master much like a slave, and punishes itself for any wrong doings or ill speak of their masters.  Doby makes matters worse for Harry, who was already in it bad anyway.  But it is this hardship juxtaposed with Harry's immense fame that truly establishes his character as the modest and kind-hearted hero/celebrity. Harry seems to be written as a martyr even in the early books; he bares the punishment of the wizarding community as a young boy.  Goal driven by nature, Harry cares for others and without thinking twice would sacrifice himself to combat the evil that lurks in the shadows waiting to rise to power once more.

Side note: The Weasley twins are awesome for knowing how to pick locks; great characters.  

 With much more of the book to go, I'll end the post here and add more thoughts and feeling tomorrow.

Follow the CRAB,

DiCrabs Out