Saturday, September 3, 2011

Johnny Appleseed Dead at 54


Last night one of the most well known men of this era was found dead at the age of 54. John Oliver Appleseed was found facedown in his Las Angeles apartment. As many of you know, Johnny Appleseed's maiden name was John Appleweed. Growing up, Appleweed was abused by his parents Chuckie and Gretta. This forced him into an early addiction of drugs and alcohol. Getting involved with drugs made Johnny want to experiment and create new drugs and concoctions. Thus marijuana, or "weed" was born. Many parents these days who enjoyed the invention, have twisted the story of Johnny Appleseed. Parents claim he is a nice, warm, boy who loves apples instead of a drugged man who was selfish and disobedient towards his parents. With Johnny Appleseed deceased, many have emailed me asking what the cause of death was. Most believe that Appleseed died from a drug overdose. Whatever the true cause, we can be certain that Johnny Appleseed will be remember. Appleseed leaves behind a wife, Joan, a dog and a cat. His funeral will be held at grandma's house.

1 comment:

J.G. Crabitt said...

forget him anyway, punk puppy