CRABS at Hogwarts

The rest of the CRABS and I need to clarify a couple things about the monumental success of this Harry Potter guy.  I understand he’s “the boy who lived” and “the chosen one,” “the vanquisher of the Dark Lord” blah blah; well what about the CRABs?  We were there too!  J.K. Rowling in all her glory and genius forgot the best part of Hogwarts during this time…the CRABS.  Honestly, not only did we assisted Harry in many of his dangerous adventures, but also had a lot to do with keeping the students together during Mr. Potter’s absence and in the wake of Dumbledore’s death.  The reason why were so largely influential in the school is because we bridged the gaps between the different houses.  As we all got sorted into different houses and befriended one another in a few back to back detention sessions with Snape.  Professor Snape did not respect the fact that each of happened to be the funniest kids in his Potions class and were stealing his thunder. Let me point out that we were all funny for different reasons, too CRABS J.G. and myself (DiCrabrio) were know for our witty banter and countless spot on impressions of the most famous witches and wizards of the day.  Meanwhile Crab Pitt led the way in his classes with sarcasm laced with uncontrollable rage and animated facial expressions and Len was more laughed at then laughed with and Snape really just hated his guts right off the bat. 

Back to the point, the rest of the CRABS and myself were all sorted into different houses, so each of us had something different to bring to the table and we had a strong following around the school, but also a lot of enemies who didn’t believe in intermingling betwixt the different houses. J.G., as you would likely imagine, was told by the sorting hat that he would do best in SLYTHERIN and that he was destined for great things.  For me, the patchy hat informed that my chivalric nature and bravery in heart would lead me to success in GRYFFINDOR.  The sorting hat was barely placed on Crab Pitt’s head before it shouted RAVENCLAW.  His focus on learning and his quick witted mind were unmatched by none other than Hermione Granger in our year. However the sorting hat keyed in on his wisdom when placing him in RAVENCLAW and I don’t think any would disagree.  Last but most certainly least Len, was told by the sorting hat that HUFFLEPUFF would best suit his just and loyal ways. In other words Len isn’t the brightest crayon in the magical box, if ya catch my drift.   

As this was just an introduction to the CRABS in their wizarding youth, there will be many posts to follow this one that will juxtapose the tales of Harry Potter.  Our narration will provide the readers of the wondrous series with another take on the situations which took place in Hogwarts and a closer look at the CRABS in their wizarding youth, mere rooks compared to the masters you all now know and love.  The short stories will all link together and will be able to be found on CRAB BLOG and on the HOGWARTS page once it is developed.  The first featured short tale will be entitled "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's CRABS." 

Keep it Real CRABBY Lovers 2nd CRAB to the right and on till morning.

-DiCrabs Out.