Crabitz Sues Cory

Last friday was a wonderful day. Work went by quickly and although lifeguarding class was four hours long, it went pretty well. As I sat in a classroom taking my CPR exam my stomach started to growl. I immediately thought to myself "Am I just hungry?? or is something seriously wrong with my stomach because it sounds pretty angry at me..." Then I thought about what had happened the previous couple days and what I had eaten. At first it didn't seem like much. A few cheeseburgers, a ham and cheese sandwhich and some cheetos which were pretty much the norm. Then it all hit me at once. Cory had left his house and was cooking in my stomach. I immediately lashed out in pain and discomfort, finishing the test as quickly as I could. I ran to the restroom where I could hear Cory chuckling inside of my stomach. He had won that battle, but the war had just begun. He did not realize that he was fighting a Crab. I realized that I needed to do something about it so I called up my friend Judge Judy. She accepted the case and we started the next morning. I remember looking at Cory with that stupid grin on his face. It was the grin of a winner. Someone who had always gotten what he wanted, even when he never deserved it. I wanted to take that smile off his face and replace it with a "Vern Troyer." As Cory began to speak and plead his case Judge Judy immediately cut him off and said "you have no case sirrrrrr, that doesn't add up sirrrrr!!!!! (See IMAGE) Cory was so befuddled, but he shrugged his shoulders and acted cool (you know that old chestnut) saying that he would leave his house on his own terms. I was happy with beating Cory in court, suing him for partiality of his house and his dad. I think about his dad a lot. Feel bad for him. Cory really blew it and will always blow it. But anyway, whenever you get sick know that it isn't just randomness, but that Cory is churning away being a funny guy. ((((Crabs for life.... every now and then I get a little bit lonely)))