Honorary CRAB: Billy Crystal

Without further ado,

It is of greatest honor that the CRABs present to you the second honorary CRAB: Billy Crystal. This has been a long time coming as all of you know, for Bill has had CRAB swag since it was a thing. Countless enjoyable films without a single flaw, a man's beard that trumps even Abe Lincoln's, and a boyish charm that captivates the heart's of women. What does it mean to be an honorary CRAB? It means that you have acquired the highest honor known to man. A pedestal unreachable, even by the Birdman Chris Anderson. Billy crystal could tame MJY or MJD. He could find Dave's teeth in the bottom of the deepest ocean, teach a bulbasaur flamethrower, drown a fish, even clog a toilet with urine. This is why sir Billy Crystal is the second honorary CRAB. I have grown in wisdom since watching "When Harry Met Sally", I've danced to "Monsters Inc." and I've laughed to "Throw Mama from the Train." What can't this guy do? Lose. And that's about it. Welcome, Bill Crystal.

Note: The CRABs apologize for the long absence and promise to be there for our fans.

-J.G