What 2 Watch 4... NFL 2012-13

As all of you know, the CRABs are extremely high on the NFL. Unlike other professional sports, the NFL has more turnover than any other sport. For example, before every NBA, MLB, and NHL season you are pretty much able to pick who the top four teams will be. This makes the season less interesting for fans whose teams may not be in that top four grouping. The NFL however usually consists of about a 50% playoff turnover ratio making every NFL game fun and watchable. This year I have come out with a prediction of who will be improved and who will fall off.

On the Rise:

Carolina Panthers- The Panthers are starting to become a bandwagon type of team. Cam Newton is crabsolutely awesome because he can both throw and run like nobody else in the league. (If people want to say Michael Vick is comparable they should jump off a bridge). The Saints are going through all kinds of difficulties off the field which could translate to on the field issues. The Falcons have a strong wide receiver core with Roddy White and Julio Jones, but lack consistency from their running game and defense. The Buccaneers have made strides in acquiring WR Vincent Jackson to help out Josh Freeman in the passing game and have a new offensive scheme with Greg Schiano at the helm. However, they are still one of the youngest teams in the league and lack discipline, overall talent, and leadership. With this said the Panthers could make a good run at winning the division. They have a new and upcoming quarterback, a great running back tandem, and a defense that can only get better. Len's Prediction 10-6

Kansas City Chiefs- Everyone is talking about the Denver Broncos and quarterback Peyton Manning. The Broncos still lack weapons at WR and are iffy at the running back position. Kansas City has RB Jamaal Charles coming back from injury, a new defensive minded coach, S Eric Berry coming back, and a healthy Matt Cassel. If they can get good play from Cassel, they can win that division and could possibly be a surprise come playoff time. Len's Prediction 11-5

Chicago Bears- The Bears started off extremely well last year. Matt Forte had a breakout year both running and catching the ball out of the backfield. In my opinion, the Bears made the biggest off-season acquisition by picking up WR Brandon Marshall who played with QB Jay Cutler in Denver. The Packers are still the Packers, but the Bears could make the division race much closer than years prior. Len's Prediction 11-5

On the Fall:

New York Giants- The Giants are coming off another impressive Super Bowl victory. The problem is that the Eagles, Cowboys, and Redskins all promise to be better than last year. The Giants will still have a talented team, but the division and difficult schedule will beat them up tremendously. Len's Prediction 8-8

Pittsburgh Steelers- It seems as though the Steelers are good every year. They are always beat up, yet still manage to put it together to make a strong run into the playoffs. For years they have relied on their defense and the Ben Roethlisberger in the clutch to pull them through close games. The problem I see with the Steelers is the age of their team. Their defense is now lacking talent and are aging tremendously. The Steelers won't be bad, but could actually slip out of the playoffs. Len's Prediction 9-7

New York Jets- Everybody is looking forward to seeing the Jets play this year. Most people cannot stand the looks of Rex Ryan or his coaching style. On the otherhand, Tim Tebow may be the most likeable player perhaps in NFL history. People are rooting for Tebow to start and to change the culture of the Jets. I don't see it happening. In fact, I see the Jets completely collapsing this year and the firing of Rex Ryan. Len's Prediction 5-11

CRABs Casted

J.G. here,

The CRABs have somewhat of a tradition nowadays, tis the art of casting one another in films, shows, sports teams, and even commercials at times. The CRABs collectively brainstorm and fit one another into the roles to our best ability. We are rarely wrong. Here are some of the castings followed by some of our favorite roles.

Ninja Turtles-

DiCrabs- Donatello

Crab Pitt- Raph

Len- Leonardo

J.G.- Mikey

Favorite Roles:

DiCrabrio- Gandalf, Professor X (X-men First Class), Harry Potter

All roles suit a wise DiCrabrio and each of those characters proves their raw power and might.

Honorable Mentions: OKC Thunder: Kendrick Perkins (Perk), Rapper Bubba Sparxx

Crab Pitt- Aragorn, D'Artanian, Batman(Begins/Dark Knight)

He's mad pretty much all of the time, but occasionally he admits that he also thinks he sucks, hence the D'Artanian role originally played by ya boy ton', Chris O'Donnell. He likes to be rugged too though, hence the unanimous decision by the CRABs to cast him as Aragorn.

Honorable Mentions: Bulbasaur (Pokemon Franchise) , Huntsman (Snow White and the Huntsman)

Len Crabitz- Prince William (Snow White and the Huntsman), Will Turner (Pirates), Keifer Sutherland as Athos (Three Muskateers)

Len really sucks.

And whats even worse is the fact that he wants to be these characters. All of them are awful hence Len's casting to play them. Nothing else really needs to be said, just enjoy.

Honorable Mentions: Carlson (Blue Streak), Yoshi (Nintendo), Asian Banker that's good with calculations (Dark Knight), Bidoof (Pokemon Franchise)

Len's a failure.

J.G.-Captain Jack Sparrow, Finn (The Brother of the Ravenna in "Snow White and the Huntsman), Ron Weasley

Yes, it was difficult for me to narrow it down to these three, but I feel like honor of being Jack Sparrow and the insult of being Finn were the things that affected my life the most. I'm the oddest of the CRABs, and the least hung (bad taste? too soon?), so both Jack and Finn make perfect sense. Ron Weasley is just great because I end up with Hermoine. Great Job.

Honorable Mentions: Joker, Tulley (BlueStreak), Smeagol

If anybody has suggestions, or one of my fellow CRABs wants to object to this post, please respond below.

PACE!

-J.G.

On the Move: Hugh Crabman

Farewell Hugh, it was fun.

The Hugh Crabman

experiment, though short lived, was fun and necessary. Though the people voted to change the name, I decided not too because I'm a CRAB and I do whatever the heck I want. Thanks to the fans for voting, but looking back on old posts with my teammate helped me realize that there is just too much history with J.G. The fact that DiCrabs and I did the film "Inception" together and also bonded on the set of "Django Unchanged" gave great reminder to all of the CRABs that unity is the foundation of our club. The book of CRAB is on the way gents, and J.G. will be returning strongly. Maybe we'll see Hugh in the future, but its doubtful.

J.G. staying Crabby-

Crabitt

Honorary CRAB: Billy Crystal

Without further ado,

It is of greatest honor that the CRABs present to you the second honorary CRAB: Billy Crystal. This has been a long time coming as all of you know, for Bill has had CRAB swag since it was a thing. Countless enjoyable films without a single flaw, a man's beard that trumps even Abe Lincoln's, and a boyish charm that captivates the heart's of women. What does it mean to be an honorary CRAB? It means that you have acquired the highest honor known to man. A pedestal unreachable, even by the Birdman Chris Anderson. Billy crystal could tame MJY or MJD. He could find Dave's teeth in the bottom of the deepest ocean, teach a bulbasaur flamethrower, drown a fish, even clog a toilet with urine. This is why sir Billy Crystal is the second honorary CRAB. I have grown in wisdom since watching "When Harry Met Sally", I've danced to "Monsters Inc." and I've laughed to "Throw Mama from the Train." What can't this guy do? Lose. And that's about it. Welcome, Bill Crystal.

Note: The CRABs apologize for the long absence and promise to be there for our fans.

-J.G

Tim English

"I am going to watch the Seinfeld episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm."  

The CORE MEANING of the word of: a preposition introducing a noun or noun phrase that provides more information about a preceding word or phrase, usually, but not always, also a noun.

TIM: It makes sense either way.  The structure makes sense.  I mean, if I said this with different words to anyone else they would know what I mean.  Both things have to be true though.

Facts: Seinfeld has never had an episode featuring characters or about the show Curb Your Enthusiasm, because that is literally impossible.

Example used to prove that Tim is an idiot: Going back to the definition of the word of it introduces a noun or phrase that provides more information about the preceding word.  TIM! Does Curb Your Enthusiasm provide additional information about the preceding word (Seinfeld)?

ANSWER: NO!

Previous argument: The Seinfeld episode of The Couch. 

In this case The Couch offers additional information about the Seinfeld episode; that being the title. However, this really has nothing to do with the argument and actually removing the word of would make more sense. 

TIM repeats his argument that no matter what we say he feels that he is correct and that his use of the preposition of is understandable by all “Americans.”  But TIM is entirely wrong, though  some may correctly understand his meaning when he speaks, my argument remains the same.  That is that unless the noun or phrase that follows of provides information about the preceding word the sentence in itself is wrong and hereby deemed unable to understand if following the guidelines set by the English language. Hah! 

Public Party Foul: Tim Thomas Drink Up, got a Sharp's Miller right here for ya..

Introducing: Hugh Crabman

Friends of the CRABs,

I bring news to you after a long dry spell. I ask that you hear my words and consider what I am putting to a vote. I, J.G. Crabitt, am strongly considering the permanent name change to Hugh Crabman. With 100% of the CRAB vote, I made the life altering decision to alter my name to a more flowing, recognizable, and identifiable name. However, because it is such a big decision, and because I have been known as J.G. for over a year, I have had cold feet. I am asking you, the CRAB Nation, to vote on this name change. I want your thoughts and I want the support of the people before I begin my new life.

With Sharps,

Hugh Crabman
J.G. Crabbit

The New Me?

Lollapalooza Memory: And Dave Grohl Said Let There Be Rain

Hey all you CRAB BLOG fans, check out my story on the Lollapalooza website, where I share a memory from Lollapalooza day 3 of last year.  Click the link to read the story and watch the video to get an idea what went of what went on. http://lineup.lollapalooza.com/past/2011/stories/854#story