CRABs Casted

J.G. here,

The CRABs have somewhat of a tradition nowadays, tis the art of casting one another in films, shows, sports teams, and even commercials at times. The CRABs collectively brainstorm and fit one another into the roles to our best ability. We are rarely wrong. Here are some of the castings followed by some of our favorite roles.

Ninja Turtles-

DiCrabs- Donatello

Crab Pitt- Raph

Len- Leonardo

J.G.- Mikey

Favorite Roles:

DiCrabrio- Gandalf, Professor X (X-men First Class), Harry Potter

All roles suit a wise DiCrabrio and each of those characters proves their raw power and might.

Honorable Mentions: OKC Thunder: Kendrick Perkins (Perk), Rapper Bubba Sparxx

Crab Pitt- Aragorn, D'Artanian, Batman(Begins/Dark Knight)

He's mad pretty much all of the time, but occasionally he admits that he also thinks he sucks, hence the D'Artanian role originally played by ya boy ton', Chris O'Donnell. He likes to be rugged too though, hence the unanimous decision by the CRABs to cast him as Aragorn.

Honorable Mentions: Bulbasaur (Pokemon Franchise) , Huntsman (Snow White and the Huntsman)

Len Crabitz- Prince William (Snow White and the Huntsman), Will Turner (Pirates), Keifer Sutherland as Athos (Three Muskateers)

Len really sucks.

And whats even worse is the fact that he wants to be these characters. All of them are awful hence Len's casting to play them. Nothing else really needs to be said, just enjoy.

Honorable Mentions: Carlson (Blue Streak), Yoshi (Nintendo), Asian Banker that's good with calculations (Dark Knight), Bidoof (Pokemon Franchise)

Len's a failure.

J.G.-Captain Jack Sparrow, Finn (The Brother of the Ravenna in "Snow White and the Huntsman), Ron Weasley

Yes, it was difficult for me to narrow it down to these three, but I feel like honor of being Jack Sparrow and the insult of being Finn were the things that affected my life the most. I'm the oddest of the CRABs, and the least hung (bad taste? too soon?), so both Jack and Finn make perfect sense. Ron Weasley is just great because I end up with Hermoine. Great Job.

Honorable Mentions: Joker, Tulley (BlueStreak), Smeagol

If anybody has suggestions, or one of my fellow CRABs wants to object to this post, please respond below.

PACE!

-J.G.

Public Party Foul: Consistently Sucking

Look I don't usually do things like this, deem public party fouls practically out of the blue, but I just felt it necessary tonight. I want to start making the blog more fan-aimed, where people can come and read up on movie reviews, sports, music, and anything that pleases the mind. I didn't really have a feel where to start, I mean I've seen so many dang movies lately but I don't want to go on ranting about them just yet... because Brad Garrett is pissing me off. I hate walking in front of the screen and seeing his awkwardly rolled shoulders and 7 foot head mumbling something about how everybody loves his nasally challenged Italian foot-soldier TV brother more than him, and thats why he turned out to be a tool. His angry Eustace clone of a father sits on the lazy-boy, beer in hand, verbally beating the guy to a pulp. Love frank, by the way, only character making the show half-viewable when you're waiting for your mushroom hair-cutted brother to get back to the house so you can start playing FIFA or something. Anyway, nobody likes him, Capish? His own mother in the show gave him no attention, clear sign that you suck there Robbie Barone. What makes a character suck? You can blame the writers all you want but I'm blaming Garrett 100%. Brad you get multiple thumbs down this week and the first ever public party foul for a crime worse than murder: Sucking.

Need I explain myself even further?

Have the most Crabby Day possible kids. PACE

Opinions For Dummies

Hey Everyone,
I have been recently bothered by people disagreeing with me in my music choices. I have realized that this is a stupid thing to be disgruntled about considering everyone has their own opinions and very few people will see eye-to-eye with me when it comes to music taste. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Weezer sucks. Now, consider what I have just said. Usually I would say this as fact, and I still think it to be fact but so many people disagree with me that I have to deem it opinion. I just don't get what people like about them. I find them bland and just lame. If you love them I am sorry, I just don't see it, and I hope we can continue our friendship. You may be reading this and thinking "hey Gordon-Crabitt, I think RZA sucks so you can find a red truck and get dragged behind it in a pot-hole filled in-road", and thats fine, because you're wrong. Just kidding. But really, I want to also take this time to complain about how much JIMMY BUFFET SUCKS. His most popular song is about cheeseburgers in paradise. Talk about idiot. And Landshark is voted worst beer created by the world's most interesting people. And what about all this modern pop garbage? What about the Beatles? They do nothing for me. I find them to be a bag of suck. Huge respect for them, they made music what it is today, all the credit to them for the modern music. Guilty as charged with the stories. Maybe its because everybody overrates them, or because I had to listen to Lucy in the Sky or Yellow Submarine everyday in art class. Who knows. If I continue to ramble about how much I hate some popular bands everyone reading the blog would hate me so I'll keep quiet now. But at the end of the day, if your favorite band isn't 311, the Gorillaz, Wu-tang(group,not band), Led, Floyd, U2, Rush, or something similar, then guess what ...