CRABs Sorted

CRAB-Nation!

I am positively thrilled to bring you the news that CRABs J.G., DiCrabrio, and Len have gone through the Pottermore pro-cess and gotten sorted into our appropriate houses. Crab Pitt decided against being apart of the CRAB adventure and therefore has been placed into the Hufflepuff house. Without further adieu, I present the CRABs Hogwarts experience.

J.G.- Gryffindor

This brought me great amounts of joy, like when Brett Favre came to NY. I am prepared and excited to start my journey. Everything from arriving to platform 9 3/4, riding the Hogwarts express, and winning my first house-cup. I am ready to embrace Gryffindor.

DiCrabrio- Ravenclaw

Leonardo is by far the wisest of the CRABs, and so Ravenclaw warmly accepted its newest member. To make sure that he was actually Ravenclaw, DiCrabs went through the sorting pro-cess twice. Commitment. You couldn't force this man apart from his wise roots. Congrats Di

Len- Slytherin

This CRAB can talk to snakes, straight up. He's a freak and he's dang good at being Mad. And apparently evil. Len's precious slytherin recently won the house cup (congrats...-__-) giving him and upper edge and bragging rights on the Funny Team. Won't last long Len, thanks.

Crab Pitt- Hufflepuff

Dude what the heck were you thinking?

G'night CRAB people!

PACE!!

-J.G.

CRABs Casted

J.G. here,

The CRABs have somewhat of a tradition nowadays, tis the art of casting one another in films, shows, sports teams, and even commercials at times. The CRABs collectively brainstorm and fit one another into the roles to our best ability. We are rarely wrong. Here are some of the castings followed by some of our favorite roles.

Ninja Turtles-

DiCrabs- Donatello

Crab Pitt- Raph

Len- Leonardo

J.G.- Mikey

Favorite Roles:

DiCrabrio- Gandalf, Professor X (X-men First Class), Harry Potter

All roles suit a wise DiCrabrio and each of those characters proves their raw power and might.

Honorable Mentions: OKC Thunder: Kendrick Perkins (Perk), Rapper Bubba Sparxx

Crab Pitt- Aragorn, D'Artanian, Batman(Begins/Dark Knight)

He's mad pretty much all of the time, but occasionally he admits that he also thinks he sucks, hence the D'Artanian role originally played by ya boy ton', Chris O'Donnell. He likes to be rugged too though, hence the unanimous decision by the CRABs to cast him as Aragorn.

Honorable Mentions: Bulbasaur (Pokemon Franchise) , Huntsman (Snow White and the Huntsman)

Len Crabitz- Prince William (Snow White and the Huntsman), Will Turner (Pirates), Keifer Sutherland as Athos (Three Muskateers)

Len really sucks.

And whats even worse is the fact that he wants to be these characters. All of them are awful hence Len's casting to play them. Nothing else really needs to be said, just enjoy.

Honorable Mentions: Carlson (Blue Streak), Yoshi (Nintendo), Asian Banker that's good with calculations (Dark Knight), Bidoof (Pokemon Franchise)

Len's a failure.

J.G.-Captain Jack Sparrow, Finn (The Brother of the Ravenna in "Snow White and the Huntsman), Ron Weasley

Yes, it was difficult for me to narrow it down to these three, but I feel like honor of being Jack Sparrow and the insult of being Finn were the things that affected my life the most. I'm the oddest of the CRABs, and the least hung (bad taste? too soon?), so both Jack and Finn make perfect sense. Ron Weasley is just great because I end up with Hermoine. Great Job.

Honorable Mentions: Joker, Tulley (BlueStreak), Smeagol

If anybody has suggestions, or one of my fellow CRABs wants to object to this post, please respond below.

PACE!

-J.G.

Inception?

So after I had lunch and watched The Notebook today, I was rifling through some of my more English majory books and stumbled upon my copy of Edgar Allen Poe: The Complete Stories. Naturally, I thumbed through the index searching for a shorter work, but also one that went with the theme of the film I had just viewed. So I scanned the titles, waiting for one to jump out at me as having an obvious theme of love. After a minute or so, I spotted Eleonora, a six page marvel that was sure to be about Poe's young love. To my surprise (sarcasm) I found that the beginning spoke of madness, but Poe compared madness to dreams. "Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence - whether much that is glorious - whether all that is profound - does not spring from disease of thought... They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night" (Poe 530).  My mind quickly jumped from love to dreams, so in finishing the story I searched famous poetry featuring dreams.  Who would have guessed that three down from the top of the list was Edgar Allen Poe again with his poem "A Dream Within a Dream."  I read it and immediately thought this has aspects of Christopher Nolan's film Inception.  Being stranded within a dream landscape "Of a surf-tormented shore..." (Poe), is exactly the existence which Leo is contained to in the film.  Read the poem for yourself, then watch the film.  Thats it for now, just thought is was interesting.  

Love and CRABs,

DiCrabs out    

CRABS at Hogwarts

The rest of the CRABS and I need to clarify a couple things about the monumental success of this Harry Potter guy.  I understand he’s “the boy who lived” and “the chosen one,” “the vanquisher of the Dark Lord” blah blah; well what about the CRABs?  We were there too!  J.K. Rowling in all her glory and genius forgot the best part of Hogwarts during this time…the CRABS.  Honestly, not only did we assisted Harry in many of his dangerous adventures, but also had a lot to do with keeping the students together during Mr. Potter’s absence and in the wake of Dumbledore’s death.  The reason why were so largely influential in the school is because we bridged the gaps between the different houses.  As we all got sorted into different houses and befriended one another in a few back to back detention sessions with Snape.  Professor Snape did not respect the fact that each of happened to be the funniest kids in his Potions class and were stealing his thunder. Let me point out that we were all funny for different reasons, too CRABS J.G. and myself (DiCrabrio) were know for our witty banter and countless spot on impressions of the most famous witches and wizards of the day.  Meanwhile Crab Pitt led the way in his classes with sarcasm laced with uncontrollable rage and animated facial expressions and Len was more laughed at then laughed with and Snape really just hated his guts right off the bat. 

Back to the point, the rest of the CRABS and myself were all sorted into different houses, so each of us had something different to bring to the table and we had a strong following around the school, but also a lot of enemies who didn’t believe in intermingling betwixt the different houses. J.G., as you would likely imagine, was told by the sorting hat that he would do best in SLYTHERIN and that he was destined for great things.  For me, the patchy hat informed that my chivalric nature and bravery in heart would lead me to success in GRYFFINDOR.  The sorting hat was barely placed on Crab Pitt’s head before it shouted RAVENCLAW.  His focus on learning and his quick witted mind were unmatched by none other than Hermione Granger in our year. However the sorting hat keyed in on his wisdom when placing him in RAVENCLAW and I don’t think any would disagree.  Last but most certainly least Len, was told by the sorting hat that HUFFLEPUFF would best suit his just and loyal ways. In other words Len isn’t the brightest crayon in the magical box, if ya catch my drift.   

As this was just an introduction to the CRABS in their wizarding youth, there will be many posts to follow this one that will juxtapose the tales of Harry Potter.  Our narration will provide the readers of the wondrous series with another take on the situations which took place in Hogwarts and a closer look at the CRABS in their wizarding youth, mere rooks compared to the masters you all now know and love.  The short stories will all link together and will be able to be found on CRAB BLOG and on the HOGWARTS page once it is developed.  The first featured short tale will be entitled "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's CRABS." 

Keep it Real CRABBY Lovers 2nd CRAB to the right and on till morning.

-DiCrabs Out.   

Reservoir Dogs Review

Hey CRAB people,
Just saw Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs for the first time the other night, and saw it on bluray. Pretty cool, not gonna lie. The bluray part I mean. Not so much the movie.

Tarantino's style is so unique and I don't know if I'll ever be a fan of it. It's just weird; like the weird where I sit there and just think "this guy tried way too hard to be unique." You can be unique without being weird, hence Inception, Boondock Saints, ect. Anyway, I dislike how the plot works. I dislike the long and boring beginning scene and I dislike the way the whole movie moves in general. The acting was pretty good, no complaints there. I just really couldn't get into this movie. Not the greatest character development and not really any likable characters. The idea for the movie was very cool, I just don't like how we're thrown into the middle of it with little clue to whats going on. It would be a lot more enjoyable in my opinion, if instead of flashbacks to tell the stories, they just told the story. I wish we saw the cops, the robbery, ya know, the important stuff. And I understand that Tarantino wanted to do the movie this way and good for him for doing it, it just wasn't my style. Fact- this is not a bad movie. I am just stating that I did not like it. I feel like it could have been a lot better and for all the hype it gets I was very disappointed. But hey, it happens. And hey, my 11th grade teacher ruined fight club for me. Great job! Anyway, see the movie if you havent, then see if you agree with me. Peace out Crabby peeps its been way too long a day.

ACTING:7
CAMERA WORK: 6.5
PLOT:6
REPLAY VALUE: Moderately low
OVERALL(Out of 10, not an average): 5

If you're wondering why I gave it such a low score, its because I couldn't think of other categories to rate; but I'm sure they would be lower than 5's because I didn't enjoy the movie much.

Forget Halloween have a Crabby Christmas!

These are the faces behind the magic.  We apologize for the long absence, but we will be slowly transitioning back to our funny/mad blogging ways.

Love all of you, have a Crabby Night

DiCrabs out

Potter Struggles

An enjoyable struggle, but a struggle non the less; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone I began yesterday. The novel though amazing and a super fast read, my super busy CRAB schedule has provided me limited time to devote to J.K. Rowling's genius.  Nearly finished the first installment of the Harry Potter saga, I have a few questions and observations I wish to share:

• I have been saying this since the I heard the books series would stop at 7, but Rowling should really attempt to put into writing Hogwarts a History a book referenced by Hermione Granger countless times.  Side Note: (Emma Watson if you are reading this my friend J.G. Crabitt is single and a stud of a CRAB).
• I wish more time was spent in Dumbledore's character.  I find the character extremely interesting so I am sure others feel the same way. The book that Rita Skeeter puts out in the Deathly Hollows, though maddening sparks the readers mind.  As for me I want more, if there were a Dumbledore book maybe a biography, I would read it.  
• As for the first book, I would like to note that Harry's first flight on the Nimbus 2000 and Christmas are amazing scenes.  Not only is Harry finally feeling free from the Dursley's grasp and establishing a home at Hogwarts, but flying and Christmas are two of my favorite things.
• And for Goodness sake, what does Dumbledore see in the mirror of Erised? Everyone knows its not woolen socks...I just want to know I do not want to imagine.  Is it his sister and mother? World peace? What does Dumbledore, the symbol of love and wisdom, desire within his heart of hearts?
• Was Ron really that good at Wizard Chess? I mean he was like 11 years old, is he really a strategic master mind? I feel like that isn't really in his Ronald Weasley's character description.
• Absolutely LOVE John Williams' score for the Harry Potter movies.  I can't help but hear that in my mind as I am reading the book.

That's it for now Potter CRABS, have a Crabby night.

DiCrabs Out.

Muscles Gladstone remixes Monster with a CRABby Finish

Muscles Gladstone a CRAB affiliate or should I say a friend of mine, came out with his first single yesterday.  A remix of Kayne West's Monster, Gladstone does an excellent job establishing an maintaining a sinister flow. The last couple lines, of this first outstanding piece of rap are, dedicated to the CRAB Blog Nation.  Which for all you with their heads lodge somewhere far up an arse is kind of a big deal.  Using my CRABlicious touch, I did a little slideshow work to bring the two together.  Enjoy some CRABtastic picture linked with a flow of Monstrous proportions.

May the CRABs be with you,

DiCrabs Out.   

Thank you World

Today we received views from Pakistan and the United Kingdom. Germany has been a consistent viewer all along with a few from the Ukraine. Our dream for global dominance is fast approaching. Awesome guys thanks a lot for your views, they are greatly appreciated.  CRABs 4 Life, every now and then I get a little bit Crabby.

Have a Crabby day Gents,
DiCrabs Out.

1000 Views, Thanks from the CRABs!

Thanks to all for making the CRAB blog the best blog to ever reach 1000 views. Other blogs, even after reaching 1000 views, usually manage to continue sucking (unlike CRAB Blog). Keep viewing our page for exciting updates and stories and to be reminded of how good it is to be a CRAB. We love all land lovers and ocean dwellers alike, CRAB-fans are the best! Remember to keep it Crabby and you know we'll keep clawing in the awesomeness.

PACE- J.G.C and the rest of CRABs

By the way, don't be hermits, add your thoughts in the comments section!



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