Introducing Crab Pitt!

Ello Blokes,
Us, as a unit, have decided to formally introduce to you, a change in the CRAB body. CRAB Crabtain Barbossa has expressed his desire to permanently change his name to Crab Pitt earlier this evening. With the support of his fellow MAD member Crabitz as well as getting a nod from both myself and DiCrabrio, this marks the first and possibly only ever CRAB name change. From now on, Crab Pitt will be referred to as so, but if we accidently called him Crabtain, we beg your pardon and hope you will be forgiving. Welcome Crab Pitt with an ice cold sharp's and a good ol fashioned sing-a-long.

It's a Banger: Multiple Party Fouls

CRAB Nation we have a lot to discuss within the few thousand pixel's here. With one of the CRABs embarking on a quest this upcoming week, (in which he will pursue further domination) we decided to have a CRABtogether before he set sail on the bloody wicked seas of courage. Within our time sea-dwelling, multiple party fouls were given or recognized. Barbossa (future name change coming? stay tuned) was given the responsibility of inviting all CRABs over for a time of clawing and ballin, but failed to remember to invite FAG team member DiCrabrio. I myself received an invite and of course MAD team member Crabitz was already at the tank. For not inviting Leo, Crabtain receives a party foul. Enjoy that Sharp's, Cpt.

Next I will be dealing with my party foul, quite an honest mistake, honestly. I witnessed a dog defecating in the street today, and rather than stopping the dog (somehow) I turned to fellow FAG team member Leo D. and chuckled. Because of my foolishness, Leo ran over the stink with the truck and rather than drowning the smell, he intensified it. The doo doo was stuck on the back trailer tire, which followed me throughout the forest and as I winced in pain and regretted I ever mad eye contact with the little pooper. The sharp's is mixed with vanilla coke and is quite cold.

The third party foul and possibly the biggest of the post, was Leo DiCrabrio's failure to attend a planned CRAB hangout. The other three CRABs were chillin in the tank and DiCrabio says he'll be there, only never to show up. Hope the Sharps goes down smoothly.

The final is Len Crabitz's disgusting gesture; dropping 4 perfectly good burger buns on the ground. Shake and bake len, shake and bake. Hope your sharp's is warm when you drink it and you get sick, tool.

PACE from the CRABs because we're all chillin right now.



They aren't just hanging with us because we were in the same movie, they're hanging with us because they want to be us

Muscles Gladstone remixes Monster with a CRABby Finish

Muscles Gladstone a CRAB affiliate or should I say a friend of mine, came out with his first single yesterday.  A remix of Kayne West's Monster, Gladstone does an excellent job establishing an maintaining a sinister flow. The last couple lines, of this first outstanding piece of rap are, dedicated to the CRAB Blog Nation.  Which for all you with their heads lodge somewhere far up an arse is kind of a big deal.  Using my CRABlicious touch, I did a little slideshow work to bring the two together.  Enjoy some CRABtastic picture linked with a flow of Monstrous proportions.

May the CRABs be with you,

DiCrabs Out.   

Party Foul: Craptain...

In a completely idiotic turn of events, I will be accepting a Party Foul this week for a recurring typo in the CRABs introduction.  In my stunning idiocy I repeatedly typed Craptain instead of Crabtain in my introduction of Crabtain Barbossa.  I'd like to take this time to apologize to Crabtain Barbossa for my stupidity and I will gladly accept an ice cold Sharp's Miller Non-Alcoholic Beer.  I will drink with my head hung in shame for dishonoring a CRAB even if accidental. It will never happen again Sirs.

Have a Crabby Day Folks.

DiCrabs signing out.

  

Casino CRABS

Earlier this very night, the CRABS + an extremely excitable Asian companion set off for this summer's second Casino trip. Partial to the Tropicana, where we found early success, we returned for round two. We left Atlantic City previously on a high-crab, because if I am to be honest AC was just not ready for a CRAB invasion.
Two in the front three in the back we pulled up in the Trop parking garage feeling great, as the CRABS snag a prime level 2 parking spot 10 yards from the elevator. Unfortunately Len Crabitz was emitting some seriously negative energy as we exited the vehicle. The bad vibes released clouds of doubt in all of our minds as we entered the elevator and made our way to the casino floor. J.G. Crabitt throwing out constant funny remarks lightened the mood, but the group energy was still lacking. It was at this time where Crabtain Barbossa attempted to fix the group energy levels by again mentioning the fact that he and the excitable Asian were wearing nearly the same shirt and that this of random occurrence was in itself lucky.  Superstitious behavior comes natural for CRABS; one can only imagine the amount superstitious behavior increases when thrown on a casino floor, where the difference between winning and losing is based solely on whether or  not Lady Luck thinks you're good enough for a poke.
Stepping on to the multi-colored casino floor we surveyed the landscape for a roulette table that not only suited our  needs, but could also house the the CRABS + the excitable Asian in their entirety.  We end up at the same table we experienced some luck at in our last Trop endeavor and order the necessary drinks (Sharps Miller Non-Alcholic Beer on the Rocks). Funny and Mad join forces at the table to birth a losing streak that was not profitable to any CRAB member.  Crabitz the first out, the Crabtain and myself get into a bit of a bind as our collection of chips began to dwindle. However, all luck changed as the excitable Asian threw down a couple bucks.  All of the sudden the gates of Goldblum opened and the man himself was waving at us knee deep in casino chips.  Four wins in a row betting on what we thought least likely to win, we thought we had found the secret, the excitable Asian and Goldblum had shown us the Crunk filled swimming pool of success. Crabtain Barbossa then decides to place his bet on 00 (double zeros), which the excitable Asian and myself do not follow due to the outrageous nature of the bet.  Well, the ball dropped in 00 and the CRABS went insane. He one a large chunk of change and being the only one who walked away a winner we turned to leave.
On our way out we run in to an attractive woman with a wheel, that only new members may spin. Seeing the wheel as a golden opportunity to win back some of the investment I had recently lost, I signed up along with my buddy Barbossa. Thinking my luck was bound to change, I watch Crabtain spin and score two free tickets to a show. I step up and give the wheel a little DiCrabrio touch; it spins a few and lands on 50 Free Slot Dollars.  Ecstatic I run over to the slots to make some free money, but unfortunately slot machines are the worst invention of all time. My free slot money was gone in mere minutes and the machine did not even attempt to get my hopes up. Dejected and slightly perturbed I left the casino, but extremely happy for my fellow CRAB.  Congratulations on a big win Crabtain Barbossa!
-Atlantic City, consider this a warning; the CRABS will be back.  And way they do be ready to pay up big, for there is no way we are walking out empty handed.

Have a Crabby Day my fellow air-breathers.

L. DiCrabrio$$$                              

Party Foul: The Dreaded Hoppity Hop

Earlier today, during our weekly Pakour Free Running recycling trip, J.G. Crabitt attempted the dreaded Hoppity Hop.  A skill performed only by experienced Parkour enthusiasts, this may have been a bit of a reach  for the Parkour novice even if he is a hulk of a man. Crabitt approached the recycling receptacle of choice with blazing speed and launches himself off the ground, but the flight is where the tale gets weird. Sometime between takeoff and landing the complexity of the trick twisted his body into a not so friendly landing position; causing our man to sprain his ankle while simultaneously breaking the recycling receptacle.  The laughter following this event was so immense that we (Len Crabbitz and myself) failed to realize that he was actually injured. J. Crabitt acquired a sprained ankle unsuccessfully doing the Hoppity Hop For actions unbecoming of a CRAB, Joseph Gordon Crabitt, there is an ice-cold Sharps Miller Non-Alcoholic Beer dripping anticipatory drops of condensation on the coaster waiting just for you.  Due to the Party Foul and the  selfish injury my own amazingness was over looked today, but I'd have you know my treespins, cartwheel half-turns, and my hand flips were on point today.

Have a Crabby Day       

My Teas Gone Cold...

Here we have a classic for all generations to enjoy. I'm a little discouraged that the opening lyric is "my tea's gone cold" but nonetheless, the song is amazing, angelic, and genuinely impressive. As a matter of fact, everyone reading this should go to youtube right now and watch all of Dido's music videos. It almost makes the Sharp's Miller Non-Alcoholic beverage I'm drinking enjoyable (joke of course because it is absolutely pleasant).
What I'm trying to leave you with is this; in any mood or circumstance Dido can make it better, more positively dramatic, and I love her. Let Dido float your boat, I know she floats mine.
Have a Crabby Day Padawan's