Back On Track: Parkour on Tour

Today my fellow funny guy and I embarked on yet another free-running adventure. Before my eyes was a new course, a course unseen by all but the eyes of God and a few campers. As I did my stretching I looked to my left, took note... then to my right, and took note. Not much playing ground for a CRAB fresh off the D-L, so I had to make due with my new android ankle and some old tricks. I started off with a dub-kick, nothing impressive, but managed to work myself into a tree downslide to kick-out, followed later by a handstand toe-clap. You've got to remember land lovers, I'm working with a robotic ankle constructed by Dr. Gero. Anyway, I passed the dimly lit torch to my F.A.G bro DiCrabrio, who glanced at me from a distance, squinted his eyes and began to walk away. Honestly I thought he had given up on the sport, until I saw what no CRAB has seen. So many activities I had to take notes on my iphonepad. First, a double kick, followed by a Tree Split Hand Grab and a Dirt wall run. An seemingly injured DiCrabrio, also fatigued, then performed possibly his greatest feat; a 360 under flag, setting the torch and almost the world on fire. A great day in the world of free running, what an art. Not to mention Goldblum was inducted as the 1st honorary CRAB today.

God Bless Everyone, Don't get your crabbies in a bunch!
PACE- J.G.

Party Foul: The Dreaded Hoppity Hop

Earlier today, during our weekly Pakour Free Running recycling trip, J.G. Crabitt attempted the dreaded Hoppity Hop.  A skill performed only by experienced Parkour enthusiasts, this may have been a bit of a reach  for the Parkour novice even if he is a hulk of a man. Crabitt approached the recycling receptacle of choice with blazing speed and launches himself off the ground, but the flight is where the tale gets weird. Sometime between takeoff and landing the complexity of the trick twisted his body into a not so friendly landing position; causing our man to sprain his ankle while simultaneously breaking the recycling receptacle.  The laughter following this event was so immense that we (Len Crabbitz and myself) failed to realize that he was actually injured. J. Crabitt acquired a sprained ankle unsuccessfully doing the Hoppity Hop For actions unbecoming of a CRAB, Joseph Gordon Crabitt, there is an ice-cold Sharps Miller Non-Alcoholic Beer dripping anticipatory drops of condensation on the coaster waiting just for you.  Due to the Party Foul and the  selfish injury my own amazingness was over looked today, but I'd have you know my treespins, cartwheel half-turns, and my hand flips were on point today.

Have a Crabby Day       

Parkour Free Running at Work

J.G. Crabbit and I collectively upped our game at work today. During our weekly recycling duties (you know we do our part to save the Planet) we chose to add a little flare by infusing Parkour free running. With Len Crabitz at the wheel of our recycling receptacle we took off. Speeding off down the road Crabbit started slow with a few can jumps but worked up into a couple spectacular aerobatic marvels.  A toe kick rivaled by no other followed by a stifling kick off tree.  Not the athletic boss my partner is, I started slower with a few hops and stump jumps, but came into my own with a flawless spin off tree.  Crabitz had his mind blown.  Next week I'll give you more Parkour updates as my teammate and I dare to reach our mythical potential.

Have a Crabby Day peeps.