Largest Loser New Arrival

Earlier today news leaked that a new man may be joining the CRAB BLOG Largest Loser competition. This post is official conformation that William Bowling Ball or Bowling Ball Bill (what his friends call him) will be joining Muscles Gladstone and myself (Leonardo DiCrabrio) in our quest to vanquish the tyrants of the North with tremendous weight loss. 

Standing at a mountainous 6'2" and 289.7 lbs, Bowling Ball Bill will surely facilitate an exciting numbers race and frankly give us a shot at bringing home a thinner gold. Mr. Bowling Ball's goal is simple to get Hemsworth big. With Bill as our weight loss anchor and our juice revived passion for perfection, the quest for fictional like greatness is knocking on our door. Achilles and Thor our inspiration we will not fail. 

DiCrabs Out. 

Ps. Weigh in tonight folks.       

Largest Loser: Back in Action

With our CRAB Blog Largest Loser competition back in action, I have decided to share with you oh beloved CRAB Blog Nation the source of this sudden change of heart and replenished drive. It was of course from a movie (where most of my inspiration comes from); in this case it was a documentary, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead (which for anyone interested can be watched on your Netflix Instant Queue). The documentary follows Joe Cross, the creator of the film, across the United States as he attempts to complete a 60 day fast.  The term fast may not be completely appropriate though the man eats no whole foods, he does live off an assortment of juiced vegetables and fruits, along with water. By the end of the 60 days Cross successfully completes a entire body transformation and has self cured himself of all health related illnesses he was once diagnosed with.

Cross's story has ignited a fire in the minds of Muscles Gladstone and myself, as we two have decide attempt small juice fasts of our own. Gladstone is already set up with a extremely nice juicer he purchased a few days ago and I am working on procuring one as well. With regular attendance at the gym and our new saintly out look on fruits and vegetables I'd say its only a matter of time before Gladstone and myself are Hemsworth big. 

I'll keep you updated, please check out Joe Cross's documentary it is truly inspirational.

DiCrabs Out and About.   

Hey..

Crab Blog Nation, I would first like to apologize for my long absence from my posting duties.  These three days have felt like weeks and I have to say I missed you.  That being said, the reason for my absence had much to do with the state of depression the last Harry Potter film (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2) put me in.  Thoughts similar to that of my fellow CRAB, J.G. Crabitt, dawned on me like a stampede of angry Bidoofs; "My childhood is over and I will never have anything this good to look forward to again."

However, as I spent the last few days contemplating how absolutely boring life is going to be without having Potter to look forward to, I realized how incredibly well done the series was. As I look back the movies truly keyed in on the age the corresponding book was geared at.  I was planning on coming out tonight with an elaborate review of the Last movie, but I was unable to let myself. To do the series justice, I would like to first view the film a second time.  This way I can be more critical and more receptive to parts of the movie I may have overlooked do to my over excitement. Hopefully my fellow CRAB and good friend J.G. will assist me in a review that Hermione her self would be proud of.

Stay Crabby my Friends,
DiCrabs Out.    

The Dark Knight Rises Teaser

I'm a bit disappointed with this one.


I was psyched to see the teaser before Harry Potter, thats some well deserved slot time, by the way. I had heard it was going to be revealed to fans and movie-goers alike last week and that just added more throbbing to my veins as I sat in my theater chair awaiting Mister Potter to engulf the movie screen. I guess because the Dark Knight did so well and was such a good film I expected the teaser to just give me goosebumps and/or butterflies. I got more of a sunken gut feeling because all I caught was a millisecond shot of a lame looking Bane and an old Gary Oldman (ha) being sick as Batman has clearly left his cowl. Sort of reminds me of Spiderman 2 (Tobey Maguire is a beast). Anyway, the teaser was very well done and it made me desire to see more, which is exactly the point. I guess I was just hoping to get a glimpse of myself as a cop, or Hathaway as Catwoman, and I was also hoping Bane would look more like this.

I suppose I'm pretty much just angry because I'm a huge batman fan and I'm gonna cry if its not comic book accurate. I also really wanted me, Joseph Gordon Crabitt, to play the riddler (or at least DiCrabrio). Still love the movies though. If you haven't caught the teaser (meaning you havent seen potter, meaning you suck) check it out here

Let me know what you thought, people, and thanks for checking out the blog.

PACE, J.G

Its Solid Gold, Baby

I'm gonna take you back to the past with this one, 2 years after the year 2G (2002). Goldmember is one of my personal favorite movies therefore I thought it necessary to do my own review on the flick. It didn't get the greatest reviews from Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB respectively, and though the comedy lacks in some parts I still deem it fresh.

I'm not really going to run down the plot too much if you haven't seen it, it's pretty much just Austin being Austin; being awesome. The movie starts out with Speilburg making an Austin Powers movie based on Austin's life, with Tim Cruise playing Austin. May I just say that this may be the greatest opening credit scene in the history of film. With that being said, the rest of the movie doesn't disappoint either. The comedy, though failing at times(like the MAD team), is pretty consistent if you have a goofy/sick sense of humor. I don't mean sick as in crazy, more-so you think potty humor is funny, and pervertedness, that sort of thing. Some of the jokes are honestly complete and utter failures. This doesn't happen often (like it did in the first 2) but I am warning you it does happen. Also, if you liked the first 2 there should be no reason you wouldn't like the third for it is far superior (first 2 sucked in my opinion).
There is a lot of Character development in Austin, which is nice, and he still remains the same funny character America loved from the late 90s. There is a swell of new faces as well, which I find to be the reason why this one soared much higher than the others.
The best part about this movie in my opinion is the introduction of Nigel Powers, Austin's "swinging" Father. Michael Caine may give his best performance ever. He stays clever, witty, and "sexy baby yea"!
Throughout the movie we hear great jams spoofed off of famous disco songs, Austin's problem with his "faja", multiple mole jokes aimed at ben savage, and Austin speaking English-english. Overall, its the best movie of the series and a lot of laughs if you can dumb yourself down enough to watch it. Len Crabitz looks similar to Verne Troyer (mini me), that is all.

ACTING: 8
LAUGH FACTOR: 8
REPLAY VALUE: HIGH
SPECIAL EFFECTS: (N/A)
CRAB RATING : 9

It's a classic in my household, and CRAB Len Crabitz is a huge fan, give it a view!

Have a Crabby Morning, PACE!
J.G.

End of an Era

My childhood ended tonight.

As I sat in the theater surrounded by Hogwarts' most loyal fans, a part of me died when the credits rolled. Never have I ever left a movie so excited and pleased yet so utterly depressed. I am going to save the movie review until later, and I will let DiCrabrio discuss the major details first, for he, is a truer fan than I.


I am literally heartbroken right now. I haven't even the energy to crack a joke. And I am in love with a girl I've never met. Farewell,
J.G.

Only Hours Remain

Only hours remain until the movie series of my lifetime and maybe all life comes to an end and I could not be more excited. As the world comes to an end tomorrow night, I will have to deal with the fact that I forgot my book at work. So, I have been having to suffice with the audio book on my Ipod.  Which as you can imagine is considerably slower, though very entertaining. Jim Dale is a saint, but the moral is that I won't be able to finish the 6th book in time if I have to listen to him. After the movie within a day or two J.G. and myself will post reviews and random thought about the film so check back for them.

Protego..Lumos..Crucio
-DiCrabs Obliviate